Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, January 31, 2005

Poultry Tip of the Day

Don't Put all your Eggs in one basket.

For example, if you are running a web site that calls for daily updates, it is probably best if your entire crack web team isn't based on one Internet connection. Jay and I lost our DSL connection the other night; luckily we're a couple of smart fellows and had already hired professional editors to bring our tips to the next level. So when the basket dropped, only half of the already-cracked-writing staff were cracked more than usual. The rest of the team, only cracked to their normal extent, were able to pick up the slack and kept you all from being sorely disappointed Tuesday morning. I've heard this also applies owning stocks and socks.

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Sunday, January 30, 2005

iTunes Tip of the Day

This is a fairly simple, but necessary tip for iTunes users. If you need to email an MP3 to a friend, select the song you want in iTunes. Hit Command (Apple) R on your Mac (or CTRL-R on your PC) to "Reveal" the file on your computer. The file's folder will pop up and you can drag the file to your mail client. Much simpler that searching through the folder on your computer.

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

Traveling Tip of the Day

I travel relatively frequently, I think, but nothing is more annoying in the process than packing and unpacking. So that's why I created the "Jason's Arsenal of Portable Toiletries" bag. It's amazing. It's a little bag that has trial shampoo, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, mini-deodorant, nail clippers, mouthwash, cologne, hair gel, and q-tips. It may seem simple, but these items NEVER go back into my bathroom. They stay in this case. So the next time I have to pack, I simply put this little bag in my luggage, and I don't have to worry about forgetting any toiletries. And, I'm not fumbling around in the morning trying to dry off my shampoo bottle from the shower. It's ready to go whenever I need to leave. Now, of course, this doesn't prevent you from forgetting underwear, but it's a start. You will, as you can imagine, need to monitor the levels of remaining toiletrisms from time to time.

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Friday, January 28, 2005

Hygiene Tip of the Day

For those days you'll forget your deodorant (c'mon, you know some that sometime during the next 49 weeks of this year you WILL forget) and know you won't have time to dash to the closest Kroger, Wal-Mart, Quick-Mart, etc., keep deodorant in an essentials drawer at work. If you lack an office door, have a busy thoroughfare adjacent to your office/cubicle, or if you have a window spanning your office wall and door, you must smuggle said deodorant to the nearest ladies' or men's room (please pick the right lavoratory), and apply it. It doesn't hurt to keep deodorant stashed somewhere in the car, too, for application after impromptu outdoor endeavors (hiking, horseback riding, running, or what have you), but not during the hottest part of summer. Trust me, deodorant sticks don't react well to the greenhouse effect.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Rescue Tip of the Day

While at work there are always those who will “park” themselves in your office for a long chat as if you have nothing better to do. They probably don’t themselves, which is why they’re there in the first place. Despite all attempts to look at your computer screen more than you look at them, and even though you're careful not to add anything to the conversation except a few “uh huh’s,” these distracters can easily make your visitor’s chair their home for 30 minutes or more. Since they don’t seem to be deterred by your insistence to keep typing away on your computer, a quick AIM to an office buddy, or even someone off-site, should go undetected. A simple “can you please call me into your office right now” or “can you ring my phone and talk to me about anything” should do the trick. You may even want to set up a distress signal with someone so that they realize the urgency of the situation. “The monkeys have taken over the zoo” should be sufficient. If the distracter is persistent, you’ll definitely need someone who can call you OUT of your office immediately. If that’s not a possibility, you’ll need someone who’s willing to fake a business call with you for a minute or more before the distracter finally gives up. Hang in there—you’ll be back to instant messaging and emailing (who said they were distracting you from work?) in no time.

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Surprise Tip of the Day

When planning a surprise birthday party for someone, it is usually best not to send the e-mail announcing the party to the person you are trying to surprise. Failing to follow this advice could take the 'oomph' out of the surprise.

Big shout out to Jay for illustrating this.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Blogger Tip of the Day

Some blogs, unlike Pete & Jay's Tip O Da Day, don't allow people to post anonymous comments. I can't argue with that, as there is something scary with letting anyone in the world comment on your blog, because this world has some crazy anyones. When you try to sign up for an account with Blogger, it looks like you have to start a blog too, but that is not the case. For those of you who aren't ready to commit to new ways of wasting your time, you can simply stop the sign-up process after the first screen! Yep, fill out the easy first page of info., click on the button for the next step, and then just close the window. Then you're signed up with a Blogger screen-name. Now you'll be able to log in and post comments with your name attached!

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Monday, January 24, 2005

Etiquette Tip of The Day

When you arrive home at an hour when roommates still might be sleeping (11:00am on a Sunday, particularly), and there are houseguests in town, never assume that everyone's up and the security system is off--make sure you press "off" on the security system remote before you open any exterior door (two quick beeps is better then 10-12 longer alarm-type ones). Also, NEVER have cold groceries with you in this situation. You might be fortunate if the houseguest in the adjacent living room is a hard sleeper--you might just be able to get all of the cold items in the fridge. But you're out of luck if the kitchen sink decides to back up when you're getting rid of old milk when you're making room for the new. Then the big question arises--do you wake them up with the disposal, or do you let them slowly wake up to the smell of sour milk? I assure you, just follow the tip--no groceries on weekends before 2pm, and get that alarm turned off before you wake up the neighborhood.

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Sunday, January 23, 2005

Grammer Tip of the Day

Punjab
Usage: geographical name
1: region NW Indian subcontinent in Pakistan & NW India occupying valleys of the Indus & its five tributaries; formerly a province of British India capital Lahore

Function: bad joke
2: the almost humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest multiple meanings while attempting to be harsh or "cut-down" another individual.

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Saturday, January 22, 2005

Mac Tip of the Day

Is your Mac running sluggishly lately? If so, it could need a good old-fashioned P-RAM zap. Restart your Mac and as soon as the screen goes black, hold down COMMAND (apple), OPTION, P, R. You will the standard Mac "GOOOOSH" sound, but keep holding the keys down until you hear this startup sound 3 or 4 times. Let go, and your computer will probably continue booting faster than it ever has.

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Friday, January 21, 2005

Blogging Tip of the Day

When using Blogger to post a tip, one should note that you can allow the post to appear at virtually ANY time! So, if you want your friends to think you're an early morning person, or a night owl, you can set your posts to post whenever! It's truly a work of genius. No one will get it!

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Warm Tip of the Day

Since we are in the middle of winter it is important to try to stay warm. Unfortunately, some employers feel that workplaces should be kept at a balmy 55°. While old men and polar bears are perfectly warm at this temperature many of us in the younger crowd, who have grown up with climate control all our lives, are unable to function inside at this temperature. (I don't want anyone yelling at me for dissing 55°. 55° inside while at work and 55° outside enjoying the sun are two different things.) So if your fingers are about to freeze and you don't think they will be able to preform necessary job functions you could put any-kind of space heater on your desk, or better yet get some gloves. Now if you Necessary Job Functions™ require a bit of dexterity in your fingers, you can simply get some cheap ones at your local Target and cut some holes in them. It'll do wonders. And don't worry about coworkers making fun of you, just remember some of us have been known to wear scars at work.

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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Fashion Tip of the Day

or Metrosexual Tip of the Day

Guys, are you bored with your typical casual attire? Button-up shirt with the top (or top TWO if you're gutsy) buttons opened and an undershirt? Here's a real simple thing that can help your look. Try a different-colored undershirt. It can be any tee that either compliments or matches a color in the shirt. If you have trouble with that, ask a girl :-). But, as guys we have billions of tee shirts. Try a couple new combos to see what you can come up with. Once, a group of multi-aged women told me, "any greens go together." So, you can embrace that fact. Try any green with any other green to see what happens. If it's egregiously wrong, you need to have a woman in your life who can be brutally honest with you. It may sting, but it's for your own good.

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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Hygiene Tip Of the Day

Forget to wear deodorant? One thing you should know is that you may not THINK you smell, but you probably do. So, if this happens, here's a simple solution. Pick ONE person (namely a docile, quiet, unsuspecting one) that you are with at ALL times during the day. NEVER be seen without that person. Then, if the person ducks out to go to the bathroom, exclaim, "I think (SAID PERSON) forgot deodorant! Did you smell that?" They'll think it's him/her, and not you! Now, your selection is important. Someone too loud might call YOU out first. Someone with impeccable hygiene, a metrosexual if you will, will never be mistaken for "that guy." And guys, girls don't smell. Don't pick a girl. Keep in mind, you only need to keep up pretenses until you can get to a deodorant dispensing location. Then, you'll be good to go.

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Monday, January 17, 2005

Fragrant Tip of The Day

To help preserve that Christmas cheer well in to January, we offer you the following tip: When removing your Christmas tree (this only works with real, formerly living, trees) make sure to knock it over, play on it and otherwise shake as many pine-needles loose as possible. When you get the tree out the front door if you see a giant pile of green then you should have enough for the next step. If you can still see your carpet, bring the tree back in the house and repeat. Once you are sure you have plenty of pine needles, grab the vacuum (Guys: make sure the bag is not already full) and begin to vacuum up the mess. Great you did it! Now every-time you vacuums the house will be filled with the fresh scent of Christmas, which I must say is much better then the usually dust smell archived with "standard" vacuuming.

(Warning: Pete & Jay and not responsible for any type of sap damaged caused by following this tip.)

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Sunday, January 16, 2005

Language Tip of the Day

"Dude, it says: 'Besucherstatistik für den Benutzer - u.a. petervcook.com'"
-Jay

"Ya, I think my host may be German"
-Pete

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Saturday, January 15, 2005

iTunes Tip of the Day

This tip is dedicated to those of use who are suckers from free stuff even if it sucks. There are 13 songs available for free on the iTunes Music Store by obscure artists! You'll be able to experience hits from greats like the 'Scissor Sisters', 'Miri Ben-Ari' and 'Le Tigre'. Yep I haven't heard of them either, but they're free! Fellow iTunes junkies will notice that they never saw a link to such an album on the main page. "How do I find it?" you might ask. It'll pop up when you buy a new iPod and plug it in, but if your not up for dropping $99 on a new iPod shuffle you can still download them if you have the link.

Thanks to Macworld's Mac 911 Blog for today's tip

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Friday, January 14, 2005

Career Tip of the Day

You want your boss to like you, right? Even if they do, it doesn't hurt for them to like you MORE. To increase their opinion of you, here's a simple tip. Access your work email at home via webmail. Then, reply to his/her emails at a time when you should NOT be at work. Like, say, 8:00 in the evening. Sooner or later, your boss will be mislead to believe that you are a hard, dedicated worker who puts in extra time. This can also be especially helpful if you know you'll be late to work. Before you take your shower, log on and send an email, just responding to work. He/she will think you're in your office, or just had to step out for a meeting. Works like a charm. If you get a raise, we at Pete & Jay's Tip O da Day need a 2% fee.

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Thursday, January 13, 2005

Cooking Tip of the Day

Don't put fresh cookies on top of a stove burner that is still on. Scientific tests have proven that this may cause said cookies to "smoke" and otherwise become filled with carcinogens and do not make for proper eating. If someone in the kitchen does say "why are the cookies smoking", it's usually not best to ignore that comment.

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