Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Sneezing Tip of the Day

Even though the cold season has pretty much passed, you never know when an arbitrary sneeze will make an appearance. There are several times throughout the day when you might need to sneeze but know you shouldn't. This could be when someone is praying, you're watching a golf tournament, you're winning in a staring contest, you're about to shake someone's hand, or you're making a salad. To keep from sneezing when one of these or other similar situation should arise just think about a cow driving a car.

But, sometimes when there is no golfing or salads around you might actually want to sneeze. To sneeze on demand close your eyes and turn your eyes toward a light, or even better, the biggest light there is, the sun. This will get you in a surefire sneezing mood. Possible occassions that you might want to sneeze include: have a tickle in your nose, to convince your cousin it's raining, to avoid an unwanted kiss, you got a pea/lego suck in your nose, you need to fain being sick or if your nose hairs get tangled.

Thanks to someone in High School and Steve the Intern for inspiration on this tip.

6 Comments:

Blogger Stephanie said...

Oh, how I wish I were a photic sneezer (aka suffering from the "achoo syndrome," one of the most frequent of all known genetic traits). I've never been able to sneeze on command, darn it. (But hey, I can roll my tongue, if that counts for anything.)

13 April, 2005 07:06

 
Blogger JCo said...

Can you cross your eyes Steph? Better yet, can you cross one eye. And Jay, would that make you squirm?

13 April, 2005 08:57

 
Blogger Stephanie said...

Yes, I can cross them, can you? I'm not sure if I can cross just one. It's not something I can very well figure out by looking in the mirror--I just tried. :-)

13 April, 2005 23:39

 
Blogger Pete said...

For those of you who got a sneak peak of this tip on Wednesday, it's been updated! Reread the Director's Cut with never before seen sentences!

13 April, 2005 23:42

 
Blogger Jay said...

OMG, crossing eyes does make me marginally squeamish. I'd be afraid to try it for fear they would stay that way :-)

I have seen people who can cross just one eye. I promptly fainted after seeing it. What's GROSSER than GROSS is when people turn their eyelids inside out. YUCK!

14 April, 2005 13:13

 
Blogger Kris said...

According to Karen Gill, Henry Clay Physics Teacher, if you hold the skin between your finger and your thumb until it hurts, that will also stop a sneeze.

14 April, 2005 15:28

 

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