Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Waiting Tip of the Day?

So I am sure everyone has a story about long waits, surely including long lines and large crowds taking up lots of time. Well, I recently spent a LONG time waiting in a waiting room at the Clark Regional Medical Center (during my workday I might add, which made it so much more frustrating.) My question to all of you is...how on earth do you pass time, or make it feel like you are not wasting your time when you are stuck for what feels like forever in a room with total strangers and can do nothing about it? I want to hear your thoughts.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Shoe Tip of the Day

"Tight" is a word you hope people use when describing you. But it's actually more important that you use this word to describe your shoes while running. I've discovered that making your shoes just a little tighter than usual before running really helps to improve your stamina, endurance, and step control. When your shoes feel like they're a part of your foot, it sort of makes you feel like you're flying! And, you'll smack (warning, this link is rated PG-13, but hilarious) the ground with more gentleness, resulting in less muscle fatigue. Overall, your run will be better physically and psychologically. I have no idea if there is scientific proof to this anomaly, so take it for what it's worth. For worthwhile running tips, check out John's Run Walk Shop.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Conception Tip of the Day

Oft times it's quite helpful to know the date of your conception. I highly suggest you figger it out! It's pretty simple, just take your birthday, and add like 3 months to it. Then, ask Mom and Dad if you were early or late and subtract or add time on accordingly. You may ask, "why would I ever want to know such a thing?" but I'd say that it's just nice to know when you were made. For example, I was crafted on Valentine's Day. So, I know that I was made with love :-) Some of you may have been made in the summer, or on the 4th of July. It's just interesting information.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

BCC Tip of the Day

When sending out mass e-mails, it is best to blind carbon copy (BCC) everyone or else you might have a lot of people replying to all...thus filling up everyone's e-mail boxes, which might leave a few excited about their sudden popularity, but more likely will leave most of them disgruntled.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Concentration Tip of the Day

You've heard the statistic that most driving mishaps happen within 1/4 mile from home? My tip is that if you are ever driving in a country where you are dealing with following maps and bizarre highways signs, driving a right-drive manual-shift car on the left side of the road, and avoiding heinous English radio commercials all at the same time, don't ever let your guard down for one second. In my casual I'm-a-pro-at-this-after-seven-days-of-driving-in-England attitude, I managed to turn into oncoming traffic at a roundabout less than 1/4 mile from "home," a.k.a. the Heathrow rental car return. Luckily, traffic wasn't too heavy, an oncoming bus stopped, and a car approaching on the roundabout moved out of the way. Never, ever think you've got it mastered, kids, 'cause before you know it, you'll be heading straight into the bonnet of a menacing lorry. ;-)

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Dating Tip of the Day

Guys: want to ask that girl out but don't want to get rejected? Here's a tip. Ask her what her plans are for the weekend before you ask her to do something with you. Then, if she says she has no plans, go for it. If she says she has plans, you know it's not an excuse, hense, you are not rejected. Then, you feel good about trying again the next weekend.

Girls: I know this makes it a little more difficult to come up with a good excuse. Might force us into a little honesty. :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Cheapskates Guide to Parsimony Part I

I will readily confess (under the guise of a pseudonym) to being a bit of a miser when it comes to household goods. I find it hard to justify paying full freight for the brand that dances the samba on TV and promises to improve my love life when I know full well that the plain-white-wrapper model will do its intended job just fine. But there are some things it just does not pay to cheap out on. So, for the benefit of wannabe cheapskates everywhere, I present my lists of items it’s safe to skimp on—and others you’d best pony up for the samba model. Enjoy this exclusive 5-part Guide to Parsimony!

Skimp Away:
Hand soap—At least for those of us with a Y chromosome, there is little obvious benefit to spending $14 on a hand soap that smells like verbena and lemon. Whatever verbena is, anyway. The $1.69 Wal-Mart brand will get your hands just as clean for much less cash.

Pay the Piper:
Facial and Toilet Tissue
—While it's perfectly all right to skimp on paper towels, those usually only come in contact with your hands. When you're dealing with your nose and other sensitive areas, however, you really don't want to go with something closely resembling burlap. That can lead to uncomfortable irritation!. Be kind to your nose and step up to Kleenex or Puffs. Be kind to, ah, yeah... and don't buy the 1-ply cheapo brand.

Check back next week for part 2 of The Cheapskates Guide to Parsimony

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Teachers Tip of the Day

Are you plagued by the sweaty pit? Are you afraid to put your arms in the air for fear of odd looks and frightened stares? Well, we may not have a solution to rid you of this nuisance, but this full proof plan will help you avoid the catastophy of having your students stare you down, whisper behind your back, and flat out stop paying attention due to the distraction that these sweaty pits tend to cause.
  1. Acknowledge it...if they know you know about the sweaty pit, just like laughing at your self, it becomes more difficult for them to laugh at you, at least while you're in the room
  2. Use it as a threat..."If you say (do, or whatever), that again, I'll give you the sweaty pit!"
  3. Blame the kids ... tell them they are the ultimate cause of your sweaty pittageness

Inspired by Mr. Reed, Posted in part by Miss Canterbury

Monday, May 23, 2005

Uplifting Tip O Da Day

If you have ever had just “one of those days.” You know what I am talking about, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, just can’t focus, have other things on your mind, wake up as a worrywart, or maybe you are just plain grumpy. Well a sure fire way to turn things around is to round up as many people as you can from your company, department or area and take DQ orders for Blizzards. Preferably mediums Blizzards, because in Winchester everyone seems to have these nifty cards that save $0.50 on a medium blizzard, which would make them about $2. So go out order a few Blizzards, come back and have everyone eat them outside in the sun. Talk about non-work stuff, like the upcoming Star Wars movie and scheme a long movie lunch for next week and before you know it you will be feeling much better! Not only did you get a refreshing break, but you made fun plans for the following week – a win-win situation!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Microwave Tip of the Day


Evidently, one of two things must be going on here. 1) I may not properly understand the function of a microwave 2) There are actually cups which don't get hot in the microwave.

Today's tip is a word of warning: Things may get hot in the microwave…be careful!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Recycling Tip of the Day

Boys and girls, let's not make this harder than it is. If your garbage collection service offers recycling, it's easier to recycle than not. Just put an extra trash can next to the most frequently used one in the house (usually the kitchen) and throw it all in - newspapers, junk mail, plastic bottles, cans, pizza boxes. Then, when you take out the garbage (which will be half as often now that you're not throwing away recyclables) empty the recycling into that pretty blue bin. Seriously. In a house with four people, we pitch barely two garbage bags a week but the recycling bin is always full. Everything's cleaner because sharp metal/plastic edges aren't slicing open trash bags from the inside (ew) and we hardly ever have to take out the trash. Plus, we go through half as many garbage bags.

If that's not enough encouragement, picture your offspring living in a shanty on top of a landfill. That oughtta do it.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Movie Tip of the Day

For all of you who haven't seen Star Wars or Ice Princess yet, when you go to the movies, don't be a popcorn bag krinkler. When your snack is half-finished, you'll be forced to make paper-krinkling noises and get your hand all greasy reaching in for more popcorn. Instead, rip off the top half of the bag. Ta-da! It's like getting a brand new snack. That feeling of rejuvenation should alleviate some of the shame that comes of having purchased eight dollar corn.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Ripping Tip of the Day

Looking for an easy way to get rid of those pesky tags attached to the back of your shirt? Well, if you don’t have a handy-dandy seam ripper, or simply can’t find yours, a fondue fork will work in a pinch. While the fondue fork lacks the sharp edge between the two prongs, it will still work almost as well. To remove your tag: slid one prong under one of the stitches that holds the tag onto the shirt (it is always helpful to make sure that the tag is stitched onto the shirt using its own seam – otherwise you will be removing the collar of the shirt) and slowly push until the thread snaps. Continue along the line of stitches until tag is removed. If you don’t have a fondue fork on hand, try scissors. Just don’t cut your shirt all to pieces.

-Abbi

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Sandwich Tip of the Day

Inspired by my Teacher's Aid, Thomas, if you are ever heating up a sandwich from Chick Fil-A, remember, it is wrapped in a container that has aluminum foil in it. (Ok, ok, so its completely wrapped in aluminum foil.) If you heat it in the microwave in its original wrapper, it is sure to light on FIRE within the first 5 seconds! (10 for nuggets)

-K-Ris

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Movie Tip of the Day

A four dollar fountain drink at the movie theater? Ridiculous. Ask for yours without ice, because it's already cold. You'll dramatically increase your soda's value, making the $4 coke a mere $3.75 rip-off.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Pedestrian Tip of the Day

I've noticed that some people consider crossing streets against traffic signals a sort of masculine rite of passage. I can't quite figure out why -- you'd think that getting squashed in the middle of Main Street because you're too arrogant to wait your turn would be sort of a lame way to die. Anyway, here's my tip: don't be a moron. When walking anywhere in any city, maintaining the mindset that every driver is out to kill you is the best way to prevent pedestrian tragedy. (Be a man. Obey the traffic signals.)

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Repair Tip of the Day

First off, repair shops for lawnmowers are terribly busy around the first cut of the season. I would recommend getting a jump on that and testing your lawnmower a couple of weeks before you feel you'd need to cut the lawn. Otherwise, you may end up sans lawnmower for up to 3 weeks! Then, even if your mower is under warranty, you end up having to pay to have someone else do your grass. Then, if your lawnmower did go in, make sure that even if they tell you there is no gas, but say nothing about the oil, that you check to see that they put your oil back in. Or...you could be into another trip to the shop, especially if it is Sears and they didn't put it back in!

By: K-ris

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Treehugging Tip of the Day

It literally takes a thousand times as much energy to manufacture a plastic spoon as it does to wash a real one. Keeping that in mind, and not wanting to be stupidly wasteful Americans, add some cheap real silverware to your desk drawer at work. Wash it with whatever soap your workplace has available and pat yourself on the back for saving the planet. Hint: just because it's disposable doesn't mean it's not reusable - - you can wash plasticware, too.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Memory Tip of the Day

For people who lose things (i.e., keys, phone, checkbook, work ID badge, etc.) on a regular basis, there are ways to jog your memory and make sure you have them. The mental checklist is the one you can practice each time you leave one place to go to another (the trick is making it look like you're not being obsessive about it). Go through the list of things that would cause a great deal of stress if you lost them. Purse? Check. OK, in the purse. (This is where it gets tricky, if you're switching out different purses) Wallet? Check. Checkbook? Check. iPod? Check. Cell phone? Check. Are you sure you have your cell phone? Ohhh no.....

In that situation, it's always helpful to have a roommate who doesn't mind calling your cell phone for you if you've lost it...again. At work, it's easy to find your cell phone simply for lack of places for it to hide and the convenience of an available office phone to do the obligatory find-my-cell-phone call. However, not having a landline in your domicile can make the process of finding your phone a two-person endeavor at home.

For keys, always hanging them on the key rack or putting them in the same spot in a dish on a table in the entry way has helped me tremendously. I hear they make clappers for keys too (but instead of clap-on, clap-off, you set of an alarm so you can follow the sound to your keys hiding under a sofa cushion). Work IDs should live in car consoles or near the key rack.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Spiky Tip of the Day

Below is the contents of an actual email I received, followed by my reply:

On May 1, 2005, at 3:09 PM, 'Flat Hair Freddie' wrote:


"Jason, How do you get your hair to stand up like it does?"

-Flat Hair Freddie


My Response

Freddie,

I'm glad you asked. I haven't always been able to get my hair to do this--it required months, nay, years of perfection, but I think I've found the solution. A couple of things factor into "hair sticky-upedness," but the main one is level of dampness. This is something you'll have to discover for your own hair type. What I've found is that the perfect level of dampness is after a thorough towel-dry, and just enough time to eat breakfast and brush my teeth. After that, I use a nice wax or pomade. But, you have to get the pomade or wax all over your entire hand and fingers--even in between your fingers. Then apply liberally, spiking like crazy. Make sure to get wax on as much hair surface as possible, the whole way from the root to the tip. If you're using wax, when you notice your hair flattening, just puff it back up by pulling from the roots. The wax will enable it to regain its altitude.

Hope this helps,
-Jay

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Bug Tip of the Day

Let's say you have an ant problem and your traps/sprays haven't done the job. Critters are scurrying everywhere and you're slightly horrified at the thought that they might somehow locate your breakfast cereal before you can stop them. You could vacuum them up, but then there would be live ants in the vacuum bag and we can all foresee the potential infestation in that solution. The answer is duct tape. Roll it up, sticky-side out, on your hand and smash away until the ants are gone. Or, if you dislike such violent carnage, just spread some tape out near the source of the problem. Works like flypaper except you don't have to go buy it - assuming you already have duct tape.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Driving Tip of the Day

When borrowing a friend's car, be sure to learn all the ins and outs of it, such as...do you have to lift the handle on the tailgate in order to properly close it. If you don't you could end up losing precious cargo, or worse, causing a major accident on Man-O-War! Of course, if it is a shady truck driver that hits whatever it is you were carrying, and refuses to file a police report, than your only loss is the cargo.

By: K-ris

Monday, May 09, 2005

Stretching Tip of the Day

If you call yourself a runner, (which I define as anyone who can run a 5k without vomiting on themselves) then this tip is for you. I apologize if some of you already know it! If there's one thing I hate about running, it's stretching (I love this pic, you have to click here). But I've recently discovered that you'll be much less sore during and after your run if you allow your body the luxury of stretching each muscle for 20-seconds. It feels longer than sitting through a Chingy concert at Rupp arena, but it's worth it. You'll find that your muscles will thank you, and you'll be rip-roarin' and ready to run the next day.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Propaganda Tip of the Day

You are under no obligation to pay attention to pre-movie propaganda. In the good ol' days, theaters would just let a radio play before the movie started. Alas, times have changed. If you want to avoid being a tool, make conscious effort to ignore the commercials. Turn around and face the back of the room, talk loudly until the previews start, or bring your iPod and drown out the marketing din.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Sole Tip of the Day

I heartily recommend you buy your next pair of running, jogging, or walking shoes from John's Run Walk Shop in Lexington. You may be able to find better prices elsewhere, but you won't be able to find better help. At John's, they look at your feet, look at your old shoes, and help determine what type of shoe you should be in to improve your run. They're use a barrage of words you've never heard of to describe the way in which your foot strikes the ground. I thought, "sure, they'll sell me the most expensive shoe," but in reality, the first shoe my salesperson showed me was one from their sale rack. The shoes I ended up with, not on sale, only cost about $75--not much more than I'd pay anywhere else. And, I know they'll be great shoes for me--and they have been!

Friday, May 06, 2005

Testing Tip of the Day

Okay, so you remember them right? Every Spring from K-12th grade you and all your fellow classmates had to sit and take state required tests. If you don't, here's a reminder. It is 5 days of multiple choice/open response stuff you think your teacher MAY have talked about once, but has still scared you every day of the year in demanding that you excel at this test that covers everything you learned over the past 3 + years.
Well, I am now that teacher who is hoping somewhere this year I have covered the material that will randomly be selected and written into 35 questions (yes, 35 questions to cover 3 years worth of material--ha what a joke.) So, here are a few tips if you ever find yourself the administrator of one of these (long and boring) testing sessions.
1. Wear comfortable shoes so that you can peruse the room looking for cheaters and go-aheaders (those doing work outside the apropriate test)
2. Wear shoes that don't make noise (I have found that straw-based flipflops DO make noise)
3. Bring a heating pad for your back because it will hurt after standing and walking for a couple hours straight a few days in a row.
4. Have everything you might want or need out on your desk so you do not have to open your highly nosiy desk drawers.
5. Bring candy so that you can at least feel like you are pacifying the pain that your students are going through while taking the test. Plus it's a good bribe.
6. Get lots of sleep so that you are not falling asleep while you stand there doing nothing for a couple hours.
7. Do some type of yoga or other relaxing technique to ease your mind of all bad/negative thoughts because you will have multiple hours of complete silence with nothing to do but walk around and think.
8. Smile a lot and say "Do your best!"

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Festival Tip of the Day

If you're in charge of planning a major Christian Music Festival (or any festival, or other outdoor event for that matter) do not, under ANY circumstance name the festival "LET IT RAIN," as Ichthus did this year. If you call it the "Let it Rain" festival, you're asking for it. You're guaranteed to have inclement weather, tornadoes and/or snow. Here's another tip. If you're planning a festival for a month when you consistently have bad and unpredictable weather, just choose a different month.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Email Tip of the Day

The thing about e-mail is that it makes uncommunicative people painfully apparent, much to the chagrin of those of us in technological fields who think that 24 hours is an awfully long time to wait for a reply. If you receive an e-mail that requires some work of you, reply right away and give your co-worker/client a clue as to when you'll get to their request. Even if you reply to say they'll have to wait, that's better than letting them stew about how irresponsible you are for not getting in touch with them. Ignore people and they get grumpy. Go figure.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Shopping Tip of the Day

Going grocery shopping is one of those required chores that isn't exactly fun to do and even worse can take quite a bit of time. Because our lives are so busy you should really try to con a friend or even better a roommate into shopping with you. You can make two copies of you grocery list, then hand one to your friend and keep one for yourself. Then use a divide and conquer approach. "You start on the left, I'll start on the right" when you meet in the middle you should have everything you need. This should shrink your shopping time by 40% and allow you to get back to other, more important things.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Dryer Tip of the Day

Those of you who have ever even stepped foot inside of a college dorm building housing at least one male know that there is a permanent dorm room funk smell. It's always there and will always be there until the building is destroyed. So one has to learn how to live with it, and given that most college guy's don't want to pony up the cash or look girly buying an air freshener there has to be an easy inexpensive solution. You know those dryer sheet things? Well find one of those and stick it in your air conditioner/heater vent. You're room will smell dryer fresh with every blow of the climate control system. Bonus Tip: You're room isn't the only thing that could benefit from being freshly laundered.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Marriage Tip of the Day

It's not like like anyone on the Tip O Da Day staff actually has any first hand experience with marriage, but this is what we read:

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

"A husband is very much like a house or a horse."