Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Spiky Tip of the Day

Below is the contents of an actual email I received, followed by my reply:

On May 1, 2005, at 3:09 PM, 'Flat Hair Freddie' wrote:


"Jason, How do you get your hair to stand up like it does?"

-Flat Hair Freddie


My Response

Freddie,

I'm glad you asked. I haven't always been able to get my hair to do this--it required months, nay, years of perfection, but I think I've found the solution. A couple of things factor into "hair sticky-upedness," but the main one is level of dampness. This is something you'll have to discover for your own hair type. What I've found is that the perfect level of dampness is after a thorough towel-dry, and just enough time to eat breakfast and brush my teeth. After that, I use a nice wax or pomade. But, you have to get the pomade or wax all over your entire hand and fingers--even in between your fingers. Then apply liberally, spiking like crazy. Make sure to get wax on as much hair surface as possible, the whole way from the root to the tip. If you're using wax, when you notice your hair flattening, just puff it back up by pulling from the roots. The wax will enable it to regain its altitude.

Hope this helps,
-Jay

5 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

Jay, this the first time I'm trusting hair advice given by a male. I don't want spikiness, but the I think the applying pomade to roots part could work for long hair as well as short, so thanks!

Also, I'd like to point out that the dudes who are weirded out by this tip are most definitely the ones looking like "Flat Hair Freddie" everyday.

12 May, 2005 02:51

 
Blogger Jay said...

Thanks Heather, for your affirmation :-) I should've done a before and after just for kicks!

12 May, 2005 08:59

 
Blogger vander said...

I'm confused. Would our feathered-mullet Freddie photo the before or the after? Inquiring minds want to know. And we should all take special note of Freddie. He is a rare and precious "Yuppie Mullet", and those are hard to find. Normally you see more of a crew-cut-with-strings sort of mullet, if you can spot one at all. Not Freddie. Nosirree, Freddie's a man with class.

12 May, 2005 09:17

 
Blogger Jay said...

Vander, I agree. This is a very well-maintained mullet. Still a mullet, but if you have to have one, folks, this is the way to do it. Freddie is a man with class, and that's why I truly wanted to help him out. This mullet would be the before. Freddie does have flat hair that could stand to have a little volume (not during the mullet.) We'll trim the mullet then give him some long-needed volume. :-)

12 May, 2005 10:44

 
Blogger Kris said...

I couldn't agree more Jay. No point in spiking the hair if the mullet is still there. I think possibly the only thing worse than the yuppie mullet (really just a mullet in denial), is the spikey version of the yuppie mullett..the I think I'm so cool, but really I'm in denial hair style.

12 May, 2005 12:31

 

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