Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, September 19, 2005

Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part VII)

7. Fortify Your Perimeter - Once you have your little militia formed, they will need battlestations to man. The government will probably try to stop you from getting artillery emplacements or anti-tank weapons, but that doesn't mean you are without your options! (By the way, we probably should have told you earlier, but just for reading this guide, you are now on the Homeland Security No-Fly Watch List. Sucks to be you, dude.) If they won't sell you any weaponry, you can always fall back on an old reliable stand-by: construct tree houses at strategic locations (preferably trees) around your yard. Many ancient cultures, such as the Ewoks and the Swiss Family Robinson, used these primitive fortifications to overcome superior numbers and technology, and I see no reason why you cannot, as well.

Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part I)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part II)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part III)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part IV)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part V)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part VI)

4 Comments:

Blogger Kris said...

Well, darn it! Last week's Guide is off the screen making it a whole lot more difficult to get that 100 posts! I guess I'll just have to hit the link on this one.

19 September, 2005 09:22

 
Blogger vander said...

I vote we continue from here.

You guys would be so proud of me. I just looked at the front page of the paper and, while consciously attempting to avoid any headline that might be sports-related, happened to notice something about Culpepper. Now, I do not know anything about this Culpepper character, nor do I care (at all, so don't try to fill me in) but I did make the association that he is sports-related, thanks to some sports-related conversation I was trying to ignore yesterday. So I totally learned something!

Hey, Jay:
DOCTOR pepper = mmm, refreshing
CUL pepper = having to do with footballie things

19 September, 2005 11:09

 
Blogger Citizen Grim said...

Q: What's a buccaneer?

A: Too much to pay for corn!


Yarrr.

19 September, 2005 17:01

 
Blogger Jay said...

Vander-- I'm so sorry I didn't get to see this comment today. With top download speeds of 0.5 kb/sec at Asbury (yes, 1/10 of the speed of dialup), I was having trouble Inter-netting the website. Good advice though... I also once thought that a culpepper was something in a Mexican dish, but alas, you're right. It is a "footballie" thing. Blast.

19 September, 2005 22:14

 

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