Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Friday, December 02, 2005

Tractor Tip of the Day

When driving a tractor, it's generally customary to first understand exactly how the tractor works prior to hopping on it. For instance, be sure your tractor is in 4-low instead of 4-high, or else you might just end up tearing through a field and start freaking out because you can't remember what you're supposed to do to stop it. If you feel that you've finally mastered the art of tractordom, bring an iPod shuffle along and begin jamming to tunes. Because the tractor is noisy, you can likely sing as loud as can be without fear of others hearing you. Although, if they do hear you, they may in fact think that you are screaming like a school girl because the tractor has run you over. So, make the "rock and roll" fist symbol as seen in the illustration above to indicate that you are not screaming because you've been run over by a tractor, rather, you are merely enjoying your tunes. Should you need to scream like a school girl because you've been run over, be sure your iPod shuffle is NOT visible, and that you are NOT making the "rock and roll" fist symbol. Otherwise, the person who may come to your rescue will be heartily confused.

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Blogger Pete said...

All I have to say is LOL in big bold caps

02 December, 2005 00:43

Anonymous Andy said...

hahaha... was that last link really supposed to go to the "Ms. Claus Mini Dress Adult Christmas Costume"?

or am I missing something more subtle?

02 December, 2005 13:47

Blogger Jay said...

Yeah, the link was supposed to go here:

But apparently it's not. Someone else mentioned that!

02 December, 2005 14:37

Blogger Stephanie said...

I know a guy who got run over by a tractor (the tractor kept going). He was lying there with his pelvis smashed in 11 places, thinking of how long it would take for someone to notice he was missing. Lo and behold he heard a sound...the tractor had made a turn and was heading back toward him! Luckily, it hit a ditch and flipped over before it could finish the poor guy off. Just so you know, he's completely healed, walks fine, and has several kids now, so the story has a happy ending.

02 December, 2005 20:10

Blogger Jay said...

I am so disturbed right now

04 December, 2005 12:02


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