Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Son List of the Day

We'll take a break from our driving tips for the weekend to give you another one of those silly emails that gets passed around the internet. And since we we can, we threw in a little extra TodD spice:

Things you will learn when you have sons (or spend alot of time around Jay):
  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
  2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
  5. However, just throwing underwear at Ceiling fans can be a load of fun
  6. Furthermore, you should not throw baseballs at the ceiling fan.
  7. The glass in windows doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  8. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
  9. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  10. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
  11. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
  12. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
  13. They call Super glue, "super" for a reason.
  14. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
  15. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
  16. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. (Sorry dad)
  17. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  18. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  19. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
  20. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
  21. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
  22. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  23. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  24. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

3 Comments:

Blogger JCo said...

Can a parent even survive this? :-)

14 August, 2006 10:47

 
Blogger Pete said...

Logic would indicate "no". But history has proven that it is infact possible. Evidenced mainly by the existanced of grandparents.

14 August, 2006 10:51

 
Blogger Andy said...

Grandparents are evil robot imposters!

16 August, 2006 10:36

 

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