Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Strollers Tip of the Day

First they have us picking up their poop. Now, evidently, if your pet is a pretty boy/girl and actually going for a walk is too much physical excursion for him/her. You can pamper spoil push your pet around on your walks in a Pet Strollers. Starting at "just" $70.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Customer Support Tip of the Day

Thor was on the phone with Amazon.com rebate support. And he learned this very important lesson:

Amazon.com - "Now that we have your information, someone will call you very very shortly".

Thor - "by very shortly do you mean a few days or a few minutes?"

Amazon.com - "I mean a few weeks"

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Travel Tip of the Day 1

When traveling by plane, you can check up to 2 bags without penalty...that is if the bags are under 50 lbs. If the bags go over, 50 lbs, you'll pay a nominal $25 for the overage. However, if you hit 70 lbs, you'll pay a much more hefty fee of $100. Now, this hefty fee is the same as the fee for an extra bag, so, pack up on your bathroom scale until you hit 69 lbs, or just pack three bags and you can get to wherever you're going with as much stuff as you like!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Smoothie Tip of the Day

I'm not sure anyone else has discovered this shortcut, but it became a fantastic time and money saver for me this summer when I developed a smoothie addiction:

Allow a bunch of bananas get very ripe--read: nearly covered with brown spots. Or sometimes you can get the already-very-ripe bananas on discount at the grocery store. Peel the bananas and divide them up in freezer bags--1 1/2 bananas in each bag. Freeze them, and when you're ready to make your smoothie, deposit the contents of one of the bags into your blender (then add other frozen fruits, juice, and yogurt). This type of banana preparation is also good for banana bread (but you'd want to thaw the bananas first). The goal is never to have to take a peel off a frozen banana, which if you haven't tried, is maddening...if not impossible. I also recycle the freezer bags for the next round of smoothies.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Color Tip of the Weekend

I realized very recently that I had been making a huge mistake which caused me tons of frustration when working between Illustrator and Photoshop. If you've ever noticed alarming color shifts when using documents back and forth between the two programs, you may have been making the same error I have been. Make sure that when using Illustrator and Photoshop that you have the color profiles for both of them the same. For Photoshop, it's under the Photoshop menu > Color Settings... and in Illustrator it's under the Edit menu > Color Settings... Mine had been mis-matched, which meant that in theory, the color resulting from Illustrator was way different than my color from Photoshop. I'm still not exactly sure why and what this does, but it has to do with your computer's interpretation of those colors.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Card Tip of the Day

To be protected against fraud, thanks to Visa and MasterCard's policies you have to use your Check Card as a credit card when you are making purchases. They're 0 fraud liability feature only covers transactions made over the Visa network. And naturally since the ATM doesn't use Visa or MasterCard, its not covered. So protect your PIN number, and keep an eye on your statement and you should be good, even in the unfortunate event that your card or number were stolen.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Apple Tip of the Day

Remember all those times you needed a vibrating apple but didn't really like having to pay out big bucks every time? Well now you can make one yourself. And this one is especially cool, because it only vibrates when someone gets near it. Talk about ways to freak the dog out.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Breathing in a Plastic Bag Tip of the Day

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Tonic Tip of the Day

Due to the presence of quinine, Tonic Water glows when under an ultraviolet light.

I would test this tip, but I don't know where they sell UV lights. Or, more to the point, tonic water.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Worthless Service Tip of the Day

Want to get something shipped to you quickly, but the only rush options are the US Postal Service's express mail? Don't waste your time with this worthless service, particularly if they require you to sign for your package.

Your mailman makes his rounds when you are off at work and can't sign for your package, so he leaves a friendly memo saying that you can pick it up the next day at the Post Office. However, when you go to the Post Office the following day, they tell you that the mailman took it with him on his rounds again! And of course, by the time you get home, there's a friendly memo in your mailbox telling you to go to the Post Office the next day, where (ideally) you could finally pick up your package.

But not so fast, buckaroo! Thinking that even this intrepid employee of the government wouldn't be fiendish enough to take the package on his rounds for a third day, you visit the Post Office only to be informed yet again that he has taken your package out with him again. Clearly, the mailman operates under some obscene moral code that allows him to tell you he'll leave the package at the Post Office, even when he has no intention of doing so.

Paying extra for USPS Express Mail only results in the mailman driving your package around town for the better part of a week. Probably evading you on purpose.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Bad Advice of the Weekend

The following is bad advice. Another one of those things that may look like you skirted the IRS on paper, but as it turns out IRS auditors wear long pants:

Maybe you're a freelancer, free agent, moocher, or hobgoblin, but for whatever reason, feel you'll OWE money to the IRS this year for taxes, and the end of the year is close. The only thing nice about having to PAY money to Uncle Sam is knowing that at the last minute, you could possibly enable yourself to buy a fun business toy to write off to help offset the expense. But, maybe you don't have time to do a preliminary tax preparation to see where you stand. If so, it's actually possible to make a purchase after the year that counts toward the current year. On December 30th or so, rip out 2 or 3 checks from your checkbook and set them aside in a safe place. Continue using the rest of the checks from the checkbook. Have your taxes prepared as soon as possible, and when you see where you stand, you can use the previously pulled checks to buy business toys! As long as the check sequence is prior to the end of the year, you can purchase something later that will count for the previous year.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Free Tip of the Day

If you go to Chipotle dressed as a burrito, and they give you a free burrito! So break out the Aluminum foil folks! It's burrito time!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Marathon Tip of the Day

Have you ever wanted to run in or organize a marathon but you were afraid the weather might turn cold and rainy? Try running your marathon in doors! They have a race in Nuremberg, Germany where the marathoners run the entire race in an office building! In order to keep it safe, they limit the number of runners to 150. Plus, there is no worry about big hills, or even little ones, though they do use the stairs!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Hobo Tip of the Day

We've covered politician's names, pet names, and pet names in the past, but we have vastly under reported tips on what to name yourself if you were a hobo. But luckily John Hodgeman has that topic throughly covered.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Grammar Tip of the Day

If you're trying to blast someone in an online forum for their blatant disregard for grammar, sentence structure and apostrophes, don't lose all credibility for yourself by misspelling a word in that blast when you say, "Brown Sux. Learn Grammer." It's -AR, not -ER. Seriously people.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Wine Tip of the Day

Even though it's technically illegal, if you hypothetically wanted to ship wine via USPS, FedEx or UPS, you may like to know that the approximate weight of a bottle of wine is 4 pounds.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Signature Tip of the Weekend

So the cool new thing is to have a snazzy picture of you, or a scanned in version of your signature, or your cat's paw print, as your "signature" at the end of your email. But the uncool thing to do is to attach it as a file. No one wants 100 8k gifs filling up their email box. So do what the really cool kids do is just link an image into their email signature. Its not attached, and you go and save everyone space.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Without Tip of the Day

I used to think that NOT having something was a limitation. Now I've come to see that lacking something, a tool, a program, canned goods, etc. is actually more of an incentive to get creative. For example, as a child, I used to pretend I was a teacher. I loved the idea of overhead projectors, but obviously didn't have one. Rather than see this as a limitation, I decided to get creative and make my own using a series of mirrors and magnifying glasses. It would've been nice to have that projector, but I learned a lot about how stuff works in the process! At any rate, I discovered this tasty treat in the same fashion. I was putting off going to the grocery when I realized I was out of milk for cereal. So, I decided to see what I could fathom. I landed on this tasty treat, just using the few things I did have in the house. Take a few graham crackers and put them on a cookie sheet. Drizzle honey on the graham crackers. Bake the crackers under the broiler for 4-5 minutes (until the honey bubbles). Sprinkle a mixture of cinnamon and sugar on top and you've got a very tasty treat. If you sprinkle a little ginger on as well, this treat will taste like gingerbread!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Nut Tip of the Day

Before you go on a wild goose chase to find a particular variety of nut to toast for a fancy-schmancy recipe for your friend's birthday, research all of the possible names of said nuts. I didn't know that hazelnuts were also called "filberts," and they can be found at your friendly Liquor Barn. It's good to purchase an extra bag to prevent further nut emergencies, especially if it's autumn, since some nuts are apparently seasonal.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ignore-Tax-Advice Tip of the Day

Yes, this is a tip AGAINST our own site. Ignore any and all tax advice on this site. Turns out, deciding to wait to deposit a check until the next year and claiming it on the following year is pretty much not really legal. And, because first-year business owners are under a good deal of scrutiny, you probably oughta play it safe. So, ignore our tax advice. Everything else is 100% trustworhty...or something...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Voting Tip of the Day

With voting day upon us, it's important to note a few things when considering a candidate, for any office really. I call this tip, "things learned from Nicholasville politicians' errors." First, if you're running for the office of Chief Deputy, it really doesn't instill public confidence if you include your cutesy little nickname on your campaign posters like genius Allen "Doodle" Peel did. Now, Mr. "Doodle," I realize many people in Nich-Vegas may know you as "Doodle," and that's great. But, HELLLOOO, you are running for CHIEF DEPUTY which means you are responsible for kicking bad guys in the arse, not carrying around your little sister's Kaboobles while combing your "My Little Pony" and playing double-dutch and hop-scotch. If your nickname were Allen "Death to Villains" Peel, I'd vote for you. Good luck to ya.

Another lesson learned (and this applies to almost EVERY category in life) is to PROOF READ things. Especially if you're mailing something to THOUSANDS of voters trying to gain their vote. If your name is Bob Damron, and you send a 100-word flyer out about how you're trying to reform education, don't neglect to hyphenate words, create run-on sentences, or change verb tenses 3 times in one sentence. The ratio of grammatical errors to words on the page is remarkably high, so it doesn't really instill trust in us that you'll carefully find "more modern facili     ties for our students" or that you "is working to get teachers what they deserve better salaries and more affordable, quality benefits." I'm sure you're a good candidate, Bob. And I MAY still vote for you. But please. Read over something. Carelessness is not one of the characteristics I look for in a candidate.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Dream Snack Tip of the Day

This snack will be the snack of your dreams. At least it was for me...literally. OK, so I've been having ridiculously vivid dreams recently. And apparently in my dreams, I'm the next Martha Stewart. Here's why. So, I was having a crazy dream that I was staying at a hotel with a few clients when Christine, Andy, Julie and I decided to leave. But Andy had given me bad directions that caused me to drive on the wrong side of the interstate. By the time I made it back to the hotel's cafe, I was scared, disillusioned and starving. So, in my dream, I happened upon a stash of homemade cookies, to which I helped myself. I grabbed what looked like a chocolate chip cookie, but I realized it was a tasty s'more cookie. I don't think I've ever ACTUALLY heard of this, but it had chocolate chips AND marshmallows making for a scrumptious treat. In my dream, I grabbed another and thoroughly enjoyed. I woke up wishing I could ACTUALLY have one of these cookies. Is this a real recipe? Can anyone help us out here? My tip is basically this. If you find that recipe, it will be an amazing cookie.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Stroke Tip of the Weekend

I have good news and bad news.

You know when you're working in Illustrator, and you want to type along a path, but you want that stroke to remain visible? Yeah, there's apparently no way to do that. (If anyone does figure it out, they deserve a Tip O Da Day medal.)

On the other hand, when you're resizing objects that have a stroke on them, for some reason Illustrator's default is to make the stroke stay at the same point width. However, we can all take solace in the fact that Adobe had the foresight to provide a way out, at least in this particular instance. In the General Preferences (probably under the Edit menu, I'm too lazy to look), there is a checkbox to make sure that strokes & effects scale with the object being resized.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Success Tip of the Day

Judging by the response Aleksey Vayner got on the AOL Comedy section and YouTube sending out a movie of yourself and a 11 page resume to potential employers will not guarantee you the job. This is probably one of those situations where less is more. He should definitely be on one of those late night weight loss promotions though.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

IRS Tip of the Day

With the end of the year drawing nigh, you may realize that you have plenty of money in your checkbook to survive until the end the year, and a few checks you have yet to deposit. If you deposit these checks without having a business expense to offset them, Uncle Sam will happily tax that income and have his way with it. But if you'd rather have your way with Uncle Sam, you can follow this tip. Take those checks sitting on your desk and wait to deposit them until the new year. That way, you won't pay tax on them for this year, your taxable income goes down, and you can keep that money saved for a rainy day.

UPDATE: We try to stay away from it, but we did some actual research into this tip. As many suspected, you can't actually do this. Your income is your income when you make the money, no matter what year you end up getting around to putting it in the bank.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Food List of the Day

Everybody's saving for something. You know, an iPod, your honeymoon, adding to your plastic pink flamingo collection. One area that is easy to target in your expenses is how much you spend on food. So here are some meal ideas for when you want to eat for under a buck:
  • Tuna Sandwich
  • White Rice from your neighborhood Chinese restaurant
  • 4 Hot Dogs (be sure to steal mustard from White Castle first)
  • Potato
  • 2 Pot Pies (now microwaveable!)
  • a couple Peanut Butter & Honey Sandwiches
  • 1/2 of a 2 lb Banquet Frozen Entree
  • 3 Frozen Burritos
  • 6 Pack of Ramon noodles
  • Spaghetti (and cheap sauce)
  • Spaghetti O's
  • 3 Corn Dogs
  • 3 Bowls of off brand cereal
  • Mac & Cheese
  • A can of chick peas with Italian dressing
  • 2 Cans of Pork & Beans
  • Soup
  • Box of generic Triskets
  • 2lbs of frozen French Fries (TodD strongly suggests you unfreeze them first)
  • 25 Turkey Nuggets
  • Eggs
  • Cheese Ravioli
  • 1lb of Cole Slaw
-Thanks Thor