Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Bus Tip of the Day

When riding the bus, take care in getting on the correct bus and NEVER EVER take two wrong buses or it may take you a really LONG time to get home like
the poor lady from southern Thailand, who found her way back home at 25 years.


Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Snow Day Tip of the Day

When the weather outside is frightful or there's a chance of snow or it rained some the night before...If there is any slight possibility of getting off work/school for a snow day, make sure you check more than one news station before you get ready, bundle up, and head out into the elements. It's weird when you get all the way to work and find an empty parking lot.

*disclaimer: I'm not complaining. I'm just saying.

Labels: , ,

Monday, February 26, 2007

Captain Skyteam Tip of the Day

So you're headed to sunny Florida for a trip, and conveniently, your first flight is late, causing you to miss you connection, and be stranded in not-at-all-sunny Cincinnati, OH in the middle of winter. To add insult to injury, the airline (not to mention any names, but they rhyme with "Bomb Bear") tells you that you'll have to stay in a hotel overnight and that you can't get your checked bags. "Graciously" they provide you with an overnight bag (which is basically a "Delta SkyTeam" t-shirt, and some overly-scented lotion). So, this becomes a two-part tip. First, if you cannot resist the urge to swim in the hotel's pool and hot tub, but don't have a bathing suit, you can easily claim that "you're European" and swim in your dark-colored boxer-briefs. Doesn't work as well with lighter-colored skivvies. But what you'll find out is that if you DO swim in your BVDs, you'll 1. have nothing to wear to bed (which is awkward when sharing a hotel room) and 2. you'll have no underoos to wear on your flight the next morning at 6:00 am. So, what we've found and tested is that you can "stick it to the man," and "stick it to your boys" by wearing your SkyTeam shirt as boxers! Put your legs through the arm holes and tie around your waist! And, you even have easy access for late night bathroom trips! What's most fun is you can prance around and in your best superhero voice declare, "I'm Captain SkyTeam!"

Labels: ,

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Credit Offer Tip of the Day

Are you sick of going to your mail box just it is just full of credit card offers? Well now there is a simple website and phonenumber you can use to get off their lists, a la the Do Not Call list. The website is: OptOutPrescreen.com or you can just call 1-888-5-OPT-OUT


Friday, February 23, 2007

Scuba Tip of the Day V

A cowboy proverb says: "As a horse knows not the height of a rider on his back, so a scuba diver knows not how big he is in scuba gear." The proverb is true, y'all. If you are already a big guy (who likes to insult girls who eat muffins), adding a large tank, fins, snorkels and other apparatus, you become REALLY big underwater. So when practicing in a confined pool area, don't be "all up in peoples' grills" like you own the place. It's just rude. And annoying.

Labels: , , ,

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Scuba List of the Day IV

It is very important to have a good buddy when you are scuba diving!!! What do good buddies look like? First, they remember the numerous acronyms like BWRAF and SORTD. Second, they can read and understand the complicated dive tables. Third, they remember the hand signals. Fourth, they don't try to pull off your mask or fins and protect you from those who will try such shenanigans. Fifth, they have a good understand of personal space. This keeps them from invading your space and from destroying marine life.

Labels: , , ,

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Scuba List of the Day III

It's important in scuba to know a little sign language, obviously, because you can't talk. And they do make underwater tablets that work in water, but if you're with Amanda, she's probably filling it up with quotes for her quote board! So, you should probably learn the following things to sign prior to scuba diving:
  • I'm out of air
  • I really, really have to pee.
  • Can I pee in my wet suit?
  • Is there a bathroom underwater?
  • Some jacker just took off my face mask; I can't see; and I just realized I'll have no way of watching you respond
  • A shark just ate my fin
  • The fact that the shark just ate my fin is actually the least of my/our worries.
  • Do I look fat in my non-black wetsuit?
Also important to note: in scuba diving, the "thumbs up" signal does NOT mean "cool!" "awesome!" or even "all's well!" It actually means "ABORT THE DIVE AND SWIM AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO THE SURFACE!" So, be careful not to get too excited underwater.

Labels: , , , ,

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Scuba Tip of the Day II

When you're clearing your mask for the first time underwater, it's a good idea to be in the shallow end. Then, when you freak out because you breathed in about a half gallon of water through your nose, you can just stand up.

Labels: , , ,

Monday, February 19, 2007

Scuba Tip of the Day I

When scuba diving, you'll encounter many an odd-fellow who will awkwardly chide on about how he took an overweight girl on a first date, told her she wasn't allowed to order herself a muffin and only share his because it was $4, then proceed to tell her she needs to go on SlimFast. In such an event, you should keenly follow rule #2 in scuba diving: always dive with a buddy. Why dive with a buddy? According to the PADI diving manual, it promotes safety and fun, but according to me and A-Ger, it also promotes a great way to ward off joke-cracking jackers who will try to steal your mask and fins and invade your personal space. If you're diving using the buddy system (which you may have thought expired after Kindergarten) you'll know to punch people like this in the face at the sign of impending attack.

Labels: , ,

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Phone Tip of the Day

Not that we actually recommend Cingular/AT&T but if you go to an actual Cingular/AT&T owned stores (not to be confused with Cingular Authorized Resellers) they are quite helpful, and will gladly give you new equipment should it be acting up. Just remember all Cingular phones have a 1 year warranty on them, so just remember to get any problems fixed early enough.

Labels: ,

Friday, February 16, 2007

Artificial Sweetener Tip of the Day

You know all those artificial sweeteners that hog up room in the sugar caddy? Yep those pastel colored packets that taste nasty. This is about the only good use for them:

Artificial Sweetener Packets Holding up a leg of the table

Labels: ,

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Screen Window Tip of the Day

Have a window with no screen that you want to open. Well check out this awesome expandable screen thing you can stick in there. It fits to however wide your window is:


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Autobahn Tip of the Day

We all know that there is technically no speed limit on the German Autobahn. However, before driving on it, you need to know that there is a recommended speed limit of 130 kph, or 80 mph. Sure, you won't get pulled over if you exceed that recommended speed, but if you get in an accident traveling faster, you can be held liable. Plus, American cars and tires are not made for speeds faster than 85 mph, so renting a German car (once you have your German drivers license or provisional international license which can be secured from AAA), or getting new tires is recommended.

Labels: ,

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Jen Garner Tip of the Day

Or, better known as: "Things 'Garnered' From Watching Alias." If one of your missions sends you to an adult theater in Zurich (and let me stand on my soap box for one second...WHY has the word "adult" become associated with all that is evil, vile and foul?) and you happen to find a human head in a box under a seat, you might want to let a manager know. I mean, they should seriously fire their janitorial staff. To "overlook" a human head in a box is pretty much grounds for instant dismissal. Plus, who would WANT to be a janitor at an adult film theater? I'm sure a human head is only one of many disturbing things that could be found.

Labels: ,

Monday, February 12, 2007

Bed, Kitchen and Bath Stores Tip of the Day

If your mailbox is like mine its overflowing with Bed Bath and Beyond coupons. There's also that Linens 'n Things place that sells basically the same stuff, and they have lots of coupons too. The coupons have all sorts of stipulations, just start reading the 10 lines of fine print. But they are so desperate for your business that there is a lot of flexibility built in there too. The expiration dates? Ignore them! The company the coupon is actually for? They accept each others! The coupon is only good for one item? Save up your "expired" coupons and use one for every item in your basket!
-Thanks JCo & Renee

Labels: ,

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Zooming Tip of the Weekend

Now that you're watching all sorts of TV shows online, the quality is good, but its not quite big enough for you to plop in the most comfortable chair from across the room as your computer. Well Mac users, we've got the fix for that. If you have Mac OS X 10.4.8 and a mouse with a scroll wheel, just hold down the control key and scroll up. This lets you zoom into the screen. Try it now, ain't that pretty cool!

If you don't have a scroll wheel or the latest version of Mac OS X you can still zoom in! Just go to your System Preferences (under the Apple menu) and find "Universal Access" There will be an option called "Zoom" make sure that's on. Then you just have to press "Command Option =" to zoom in or "Command Option -" to zoom out!

You'll notice the zoom follows the mouse pointer around. So if you're zooming into your TV show, you'll have the mouse pointer stuck right in the middle. Just hit a button on the keyboard and it will disappear.


Friday, February 09, 2007

VCR Tip of the Day

Never use your VCR again!

TV stations has finally found a good way to embrace the internet. Most every major network lets you watch full episodes of their most popular shows online. Missed 24 or Prison Break, watch it at Fox's MySpace page. Want to watch Heros, check out NBC Rewind. A CSI or Survivor addict? CBS calls theirs Innertube. And we can't over look the original ABC who started doing this last year. They have Lost, Grey's Anatomy and six others. Count them all together and there are 39 shows with full episodes available free online!

You will be subject to at least some commercials. But the other night I watched 24, and only saw 1 minute of commercials total, sure beats the 20 minutes you usually get in an hour of TV programing.


Thursday, February 08, 2007

Book and a Bath Tip O Da Day

A nice hot, steamy bubble bath can do wonders for anyone, but if you intend to enjoy a book as well, please keep in mind the side effects of a bath is sleepiness and you must be mindful of your book or you may just drop it in the tub as you nod off ever so briefly.

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Guard Dog Tip O Da Day

How smart is your pet? Does he defend your home and on occasion take it to a ridiculous level? Why not test your pet...take him for a walk and return home pause at the front door and ring the doorbell. It is possible your dog will attempt to scare himself away by barking profusely!

Good boy!

Labels: ,

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Text Message Tip of the Day

If you have a horrible cell phone that only lets you store 125 messages into memory keep on top of it or you may start to receive texts from people 3 days later from when they were sent.


Monday, February 05, 2007

Commercial Tip of the Day

Missed the game yesterday? Well catch the important parts. CBS has all the commercials posted on their website. Warning, their not that funny. Bet let us know in the comments which ones you like the best and hate the most.

Labels: ,

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Superbowl Tip of the Weekend

Superbowl Sunday is the one time of the year where you'll find non-sports-entusiasts like me and Teresa halfway kinda watching the tube. This is a tip for those of you, who like us, would rather do ANYTHING than spend 4 hours of your life watching football, but find it necessary to at least feign interest because of the social gathering. In fact, at the end of this tip, you'll look like a TRUE, DIE-HARD fan who spends every Sunday and Monday watching football. Here are a few things you should know:

  • Don't refer to the game as a "match" by saying "who's winning the match?" or "that's quite a match we've got going on here." Call it a "game" or a "bout." :-)

  • "Strikes" don't apply in football; only baseball, bowling and the California legal system. Similarly, things like "foul balls," "batters," "dugouts," and "pucks" aren't really often used in this sport.

  • Don't act too excited about watching Prince during the halftime show. That's just weird.

  • Don't act too excited about watching ANYTHING during the halftime show--people will be on to you that you don't like sports.

  • When people score in football, sometimes known as a "touchdown," for whatever reason, they get either 6 or 7 points. No one really knows why, but it's just the way it works. So don't be alarmed when the opposing team scores and suddenly the score goes up by a gazillion points. You'll really embarrass yourself if you say, "They gave them 6 points!"

  • While most people take bathroom breaks during commercials, you can take yours during the "match" itself. This will guarantee a freed-up bathroom (so take your time) and also means you get to miss some of the boredom.

  • Volunteer to help cook the burgers, brats or nachos. This will make you appear selfless, and also require you to watch less of the big game.

  • Contrary to popular belief, you can, and should, flush the toilet during halftime. The water companies can handle it.

  • Just because the timer only has 15 minutes left on it does NOT mean you're only 15 minutes away from the end of the game. In fact, it probably means you're about 3 hours away from the end of the game (if you're lucky.) In football, we've found they like to stop and start all the time. Again, no one knows why. So don't plan on "being outta there" in 15 minutes. Plan for the rest of your life.

  • Find out who's playing before-hand, so you don't make stupid remarks like, "what does CHI, or IND mean?"

  • There's a superimposed line on the field. That's done in TV magic, not in real life. So don't ask how that moves. And that technology has now been in place for about 18 years. So if you act like it's the coolest thing ever, people will know you've not watched football in 18 years.

  • When in doubt, cheer with the people you're with, and keep quiet if you're confused. Or, go to the bathroom. Again.

Labels: , , ,

Friday, February 02, 2007

Purchasing Tip of the Day

Wew, it's Friday again…finally. The weekend is ahead and there are things to do. Maybe you want to go out to eat this weekend, do some home improvement or sign up for phone service. But where should you go, who should you choose? That is the hard part, and that is the newest area Tip O Da Day wants to be helpful. Today we are super proud to introduce the second new spin off site just this week. Pete & Jay proudly present:

Tip O Da Day Recommends…

It's a place where the Tip O Da Day staff reviews and imparts their findings using our patent pending "Recommended" or "Decommended" scale. This makes it easy to spot which businesses and products worthy of your business and which are worthy of collecting dust.

(Ok, so its a shameless plug disguised as a tip, we know, and we're find with that. How else are we going to announce it?)

Labels: , , ,

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Pirate or Horse Tip of the Day

If you are a pirate, or a horse with only one eye, it is good to keep your hair or other obstructions out of the other (good) eye. So get a hair cut regularly, just like our little height challenged buddy, One Eye Jack here:

One Eye Jack the Horse

Labels: ,