Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Pee Tip of the Day

If you followed the advice in the last tip, you're probably a little happy with me, but also a little mad because you're peeing constantly. You may feel like you have a bladder control issue, what with those "sudden, frequent urges" and all. Well, I'm sorry. But at least you're on your way to feeling better. Still, should you have to travel after following my advice, heed this advice as well. If you happen to find yourself on a plane at 4:30am, after drinking approximately 3/4 of a gallon of water, several glasses of OJ, and enough water to dissolve 2 "Airborne" tablets, you're going to have to pee--very soon. So, definitely pee prior to planing. But in the event of an unexpected plane de-icing prior to take-off, don't think to yourself, "hmm, we'll be in the air soon...I can hold it..." because you can't. De-icing will take approximately the rest of your life. And you may or may not know that you can't use airplane lavatories until you reach cruising altitude. Which also takes approximately the rest of your life. You may have to do what I did, and bolt to the back of the plane BEFORE you're allowed to, which results in the flight attendant yelling at you, and giving you dirty looks for the rest of the flight.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Amanda said...

I can relate well to this tip. I hate the feeling of having to go to the bathroom. For this reason, I get nervous before a trip and go to the bathroom about a 5,267,128,230,921 times before I leave (just in case). My other trick is not drink much before a big road trip so that I'm not the annoying one in the group that asks, "Can we stop?" every 45 minutes.

Happy Traveling!

22 March, 2007 09:49

 
Blogger Matthew said...

Did you really just use the number five trillion, two hundred sixty seven billion, one hundred twenty eight million, two hundred thirty thousand, nine hundred and twenty one? Did I forget some hyphens?

22 March, 2007 19:18

 
Blogger Blair said...

Considering the oldest you can live to be is around 110 and assuming the average of each bathroom duration is 2 minutes it would be impossible for Amanda to go to the bathroom that many times. No one can even live for a trillion seconds!

23 March, 2007 00:05

 
Blogger Pete said...

The other day Jay mentioned what the Google ads about this would say. Well, here's what the Google ads pointed me to in my Gmail account as I was reading these comments:

http://www.bippityboppitybaby.com/fun_misc.asp

23 March, 2007 10:29

 
Blogger Amanda said...

to Matt: yes, yes

to Blair: I have super powers and can leave the space/time continuum to use the bathroom, then come back like I had never left.

to both: this made the quoteboard cause I think it's funny and it's currently the longest quote on there. Congrats to us all.

23 March, 2007 13:39

 
Blogger Citizen Grim said...

I have super powers and can leave the space/time continuum to use the bathroom, then come back like I had never left.


hahahaha, this made me laugh at work

26 March, 2007 11:26

 

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