Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, April 30, 2007

Submarine Tip of the Day III

On second thought, don't pull any pranks on people in the sub. Because we kinda forgot that you're basically stuck underwater in a tin can with these people. And we hear payback's a ... well, paybacks aren't fun for the recipient. And with a bunch of once-frat-boy compatriots underwater, there's sure to be a payback that would be worse than the stunt you pulled. So, maybe don't be the one to initiate a prank war. But if someone gets you, you'll have a few ideas.

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Web Development Tip of the Day

If you've got a job making websites and have out grown the likes of Dreamweaver, and you've got a Mac. Give Coda a try. Its like the Web Development 2.0. That has what you need and not what you don't. Its a text editor, CSS editor, FTP app, Terminal and reference guide all in one window.

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Friday, April 27, 2007

Submarine Tip of the Day II

If you've chosen the naval career or find yourself in any water-laden occupation, it's a good idea to quickly get over the humor in the word "seamen." Try your best not to snicker or smirk when the word is said, because chances are, you'll hear it a lot. And it's probably best just to think about a puppy dying when you hear that word. After all, you wouldn't want to be the crew's target of the next prank.

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Submarine Tip of the Day I

This series is dedicated to our favorite naval seamen, Ens. Kyle Calton who spends his working hours under the sea protecting us all from the bad guys. We thought it'd be great to do a whole series of tips that we speculate would be true, but obviously don't know for sure. These are "speculative" tips from non-able-bodied-seamen. Yet, we feel they're true, and hoped that maybe Officer Calton could steer us in the right direction if we're wrong.

If you're underwater on a sub, a little bored, and looking for a great prank to pull, we've got an excellent tip for you. Wait until your fellow crewmembers are asleep, then grab about 4 or 5 buckets of water. Find the target of the prank and sound some type of fake alarm, dumping the contents of the buckets onto him screaming, "we're going down--we've taken on water!"

Sure to be a gas!

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Miss America Tip of the Day

Don't mess with Miss America. Especially if she's 82 and from Kentucky. I personally like how she was the first redhead to have a color photograph taken. This from World Net Daily:

Tough isn't a word necessarily associated with Miss America, but three thieves arrested after their truck tires were shot out by 82-year-old Venus Ramey might beg to differ.

Ramey, who won the elite beauty crown in 1944, confronted one of the three robbers on her farm in Waynesburg, Ky., about 140 miles south of Cincinnati, the Cincinnati Enquirer reported.

"He was probably wetting his pants," said Ramey, who balanced on her walking stick as she pulled out a snub-nosed .38-caliber handgun.

Ramey said thieves for some time have been breaking into a building on her property where she stores century-old steel-shaping machines and other equipment to sell for scrap, according to the Enquirer.

On April 13, while feeding horses, she followed her dog when it ran over to the building, where a truck was parked in front.

She confronted a man who told her he was "scrapping" and would not leave.

"I said, 'Oh, no you won't,' and I shot their tires so they couldn't leave," Ramey told the Cincinnati paper.

She didn't think twice about shooting.

"I just went and did it. If they'd even dared come close to me, they'd be 6 feet under by now," she said.

Ramey flagged down a driver who called 911, and three people eventually were arrested, including one at the scene.

"They've been stealing from me for years. Those good-for-nothing slobs," she told the Enquirer.

Ramey began as a showgirl at the Beverly Hills Supper Club then ended up in Washington, D.C., working for the war effort, where she won a beauty contest. In 1944 she became Miss America, representing the District of Columbia.

She was the first redheaded Miss America and the first to be photographed in color, according to her bio on the beauty contest's website.

Ramey performed in vaudeville, and her picture adorned a B-17 bomber that flew 68 missions over Germany in World War II.

According to the Miss America website, Ramey was sought out for a major Hollywood film by legendary producer Milton Sperling of Warner Brothers Studio. But she was disgusted with show business and returned home to her Kentucky tobacco farm, married and began raising her two sons.

In Cincinnati in the 1970s, she helped lead a civic renewal project and made an unsuccessful bid for City Council.

Ramey returned to farm life in 1990 but hasn't found it entirely tranquil.

"I'm trying to live a quiet, peaceful life and stay out of trouble, and all it is, is one thing after another," she said.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Landscaping Tip of the Day I

Our greenthumbed friend Citizen Grim recently gave me some excellent tips for gardening that I think are worth sharing with the world. Enjoy!

Plants generally fall into categories about what sort of spot they need to be in.

Some prefer more sun, so they should be on the south side of buildings or fences, where they'll get light for most of the day. Others prefer more shade (especially ferns) and would be best on the north side of buildings and fences. And there are some that favor "partial sun," and would do best in locations where they would get a couple hours of sun per day, but not too much.

Watering is another factor: cactuses like to be dry, ferns like to be pretty wet. Most other plants fall somewhere in the middle - the water should be kept moist but not too saturated.

They also bloom at different times of the year - lots of things bloom in spring, quite a few in summer, and some bloom pretty late into the fall. One or two things even bloom all winter long. Once trees or shrubs finish blooming, they focus mostly on growing new leaves (or fruit, as the case may be). However, when flowers finish blooming, they pretty much finish up their cycle and go dormant or die off. So it might be a good idea to cover spring-blooming plants with ones that bloom from summer-fall, to cover the dead foliage.

These things are usually mentioned on the plant's tag at the store. Other information might mention maximum size, cold hardiness, or weather the plant is an annual (lives only one year) or perennial (comes back year after year).

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Trust Tip of the Day

Here is a guide to test the trust in your marriage:
  1. Have husband hold ladder on stairs in narrow, dark hallway
  2. Wife stand on top of the ladder
  3. Wife sprays hot chemical mixture- spritz oozes all over husband below
  4. Using a very sharp tool, girate body while scraping walls
  5. Wallpaper shreds and crumbs drop all over husband
  6. Reassure husband that razor sharp tools are not going to drop on his head
  7. Ask husband to move ladder to next step, spray more stinky chemical, and repeat scraping motions
  8. Thank husband for his time, patience, and strong, steady grip
-Kathryn

This just happens to be our 800th Tip! Thanks to all our contributers and commenters. Keep em coming!

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Font Tip of the Day

Getting bored with your font collection, but don't have loads of cash to drop on fonts? Look no further. A web developer has compiled a list of the Top 25 Free Fonts. These ain't no illegal fonts, neither. These are 2Legit2Quit. (Hey, hey!) Some are great, and very reminiscent of Veer fonts. As you poke around this post, also be sure to check out other fonts (free and for-pay) from these generous foundries.

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Biconfusing Tip of the Day

Biannually and Semiannually both mean twice a year, biennialy mines every two years, and it just gets more confusing after that:
biannually and semiyearly
occurring twice a year
semiannually
occurring every six months or twice a year
biennially and biyearly
occurring every two years
semimonthly
occuring twice a month

Now comes the fun part!

bimonthly
occurring every two months
occurring twice a month
semiweekly
occurring twice a week
biweekly
occurring twice a week
occurring every two weeks
Yes, Bimonthly and Biweekly mean two completely different similar things. So my only question left is what does "ennial" mean?

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Parking Tip of the Day

As a female, it can be dangerous parking in public areas, especially at night. We've all seen at baby stores how they have parking spots for pregnant women. Well, in Germany, they've taken our safety to the next level. In most parking garages, including the structure at the airport, they have special parking for all women. It is close to the exit and in a more well-lit area! You'd better believe next time I have to pick someone up in Frankfurt I'll be taking advantage of this tip! Just look for this sign!

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Fingernail Tip of the Day

When I clip my fingernails, I have a problem with the clippings flying everywhere. Even if I am close to the trashcan, there's a good chance it won't catch them all. But if you get your hands soaking wet first, the clipping want to stick to stuff, like your fingers or the clippers, make for a much more consolidated cleanup.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

House Tip of the Day

A big big house may not be all its cracked up to be. That's a whole lot to clean. If you really really hate cleaning, a 300 square foot house may just be the thing for you.
Cleaning, at least, seems a snap – the whole house in just one or two Swiffer laps.

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Monday, April 16, 2007

Oompa Loompa Tip of the Day

There was some strong reaction to our troll tip of the day, that appeared well over a year ago. We need to follow up on some of the mythological humanoid beings that we left out.

Leprechauns are like elves in many ways yet are a distinct, if not as populous, species. Their wardrobe is very monochromatic, but unlike most celebrities aren't judged harshly by the public on their outfits. And they are celebrities, there is very little that will get children more excited in a grocery store than the sight of Lucky in the cereal aisle. Leprechauns are known for protecting things, and they me be a useful deterrent for Robert Goulet. Mr Goulet, has received significant training from Gnomes. They both like to mess with stuff just for the fun of it. Moving on to Tree Sprites, very little is known about them. The Keebler elves were not able to be reached for this story, it is thought that they have insider information on their fellow tree dwelling beings. When asking Tip O Da Day's Keiser about Tree Sprites, he kept changing the subject. Based on several behavioral qualities, tt is the suspicion of this reporter that Keiser was raised by Tree Sprites, but presently this claim is unsubstantiated. More is known about Oompa Loompa's thanks to their predominate role in the wildly popular Charlie and the Chocolate Factory books and movies. They are extremely moral and musical creatures. They despise the vices of human children and can compose songs on the fly about those vices.

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Sunday, April 15, 2007

Mac/Windows Tip of the Weekend

You may not know this, but on all of Apple's new Mac you can run not only Mac OS X, but also Windows. You can do this with the Apple solution, using free Boot Camp software, but you have to restart your computer every time you switch OSes. Or, even cooler, you can run Windows, where in belongs, in a separate window in the Mac OS using Parrallels. Note: both solutions require that you purchase Windows separately.

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Friday, April 13, 2007

TSA Tip of the Day

You can bring a bottle of water past security at airports, you just have to drink the water first. Then you can simply refill the bottle with water fountain on the other side of the law.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Family Tip of the Day

Family is important. Its sad to think that for many of us, we don't know who our grandparents' grandparents were. I was super excited when I heard about Geni a few weeks ago. Its a Web 2.0 kind of way to quickly and easily add to your family tree, invite your family members to help you out and add their family. One of the coolest things about it, is that it doesn't limit your family tree to just your grandparents on down. Your in-laws can fill in their family tree, and their in-laws can too and it can just keep going and going. The biggest family tree on there has over 3,300 people! And they are working on ways to export and print your tree, cause I doubt our grandkids will still be using this website.

P.S. If you're in my family, and want me to invite you, let me know. I've already got 73 people on there.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Dinner Tip of the Day

Fry up some chicken in something you may not normally fry chicken up in. My favorite right now is putting a big spoonful of garlic mustard in the fry pan and added the chicken. It is super tasty, there all sorts of flavors built into garlic mustard, and less fatty than oil.

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Automated Phone System Tip of the Day

Who calls a customer support number because they expect to get help from an automated answer? (pause) Yeah, I didn't think so. Well skip past all that "please listen to all options before making your selection" jibberish with the gethuman 500 database or if you don't even want to bother with that, just use Bringo and they'll connect you straight up.

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Scuba Tip of the Day VIII

While scuba diving, you are using muscles in ways they are not accustomed. This can lead to the dreaded leg cramp. To avoid this, eat a banana and make sure you have a proper electrolyte balance. Also, try stretching before your deep sea adventure. If you still get a cramp, try straightening out the muscle by grabbing your fin and pulling towards you. You may need to get your buddy to assist you.

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Saturday, April 07, 2007

RSS Followup of the Weekend

A few months ago we gave you an overview of RSS Feeds and how to use them. The problem is that you may not want to leave yet another program open and running all the time, it's just one more thing to check. How about email? Everyone who is even remotely interested in RSS Feeds already uses email. Check out RssFwd a little free service that will email you the contents of an RSS Feed every time it is updated! Just head to the site and type in our address: http://tips.petervcook.com and then it will ask for your email address.

Another little self promotional update. Amanda's Quotebook has been completely reprogrammed and it now 200% cooler than before. You can sort by quoter, the archive is all pretty and we've added an RSS Feed. So pair that with the above tip, and you could have an email delivered every time someone posts a new quote.

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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Scuba Tip of the Day VII

The main thing you'll learn from scuba divers is that you probably don't want to marry them. At least if you want a happy marriage. Turns out in a small cross-sampling of scuba divers, one was married for eleven months and realized it wouldn't work out, another was married for 23 years, but "it was a blessing when it was over..." Sad.

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1984 Tip of the Day

For one day only, we're kickin' it old school and pretending like it's 1984! This isn't a glitch, it's just plain fun!

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Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Airline Tip of the Day

If you're flying American Airlines, hope you don't have to check, carry-on or gate-check any of the items below, because they're not covered if lost, damaged or destroyed. I think this list pretty much covers ANYTHING-- especially the "or anything of any value" or "anything fragile" statements. If they do break your stuff and absolve themselves of any responsibility, you can always file a complaint with the FTC.

Directly from American Airlines' "Customer Service" (if you can call it that) received almost one month after emailing them:

"We do not accept responsibility for antiques, artifacts, artwork, books and documents, china, computers and other electronic equipment, computer software, fragile items (including child/infant restraint devices such as strollers and car seats), eyeglasses,
prescription sunglasses, non-prescription sunglasses and all other eyewear and eye/vision devices whether lenses are glass, plastic, or some other material, furs, heirlooms, items carried in the passenger compartment of the aircraft, liquids, medicines, money, orthotics, surgical supports, perishable items, photographic, video and optical equipment, precious metals, stones or jewelry, securities and negotiable papers, silverware, samples, unique or irreplaceable items or any other similar valuable items."

Glad to know that good ole American Airlines will replace 1. my old underwear, 2. that bar of Dial soap they lost, and 3. oh, I guess that's it.

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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Scuba Tip of the Day VI

You learn lots of things from crazy scuba diving folks. (Must be the nitrogen narcosis.) One thing you may learn is: if you go to a Hooter's in New Orleans, the girls will probably give you their number. (Do with this what you will.) And also, even though scuba divers often see each other in skimpy swim wear, many would "have to be paid a lot of money to sit there nekkked" when asked if they'd ever be a nude model for artists.

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Monday, April 02, 2007

Deer Tip of the Day

If you're a deer and things are getting a little too crazy on your local college campus , try and make a run for it...but don't make a run for it over a wall.

If you do happen to have made an unfortunate beeline towards a wall, expect to break your leg, go into shock and run into a park full of milling humans who are enjoying a spring day.

Once in the park, run full speed towards two humans with cameras, maybe they will take a picture of you and alert people to the dangers of deer on campuses. Or maybe they will just stand there in shock and ask 'what is that, what is that, what is that?' over and over.

you think, 'use your words human. i'm a deer.'

but before you can say that you will labor into the neighboring forest where you hope the local authorities will find you.

Special thanks to Jara and Daphne

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Sunday, April 01, 2007

Google Tip of the Day

Google, the fun loving company they are. Always has a fun "new product" on April Fools Day. This year it's free commode based Wi-Fi.

Update: Turns out Gmail had their own prank too.

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