E-Break Tip of the Day

Have you ever wondered what pulling your emergency break would do while traveling at a high rate of speed? Well don't, it's not good. In 100% of the cases we studied (totaling 2) we found that boyfriends and girlfriends broke-up not too long after the incident if both were in the car during the event.

The E-Brake, "a great way to put a quick stop on your relationship!"

PDA Tip of the Day 7

Your loved one calls while you are in the group. Here's a conversation that your friends should never hear:

"I love you too...No, I love you more...nooooo, I love you more...You hang up first...Ok, bye....you still there?...You hang up first....On the count of three, we'll both hang up...one...two...love you....three...Snookums?...Seriously, this time, we'll hang up...."

This invokes the gag reflex in all around you. In order to avoid a cleanup in aisle 12, don't let this happen to you. Just hang up the phone already. You'll probably see them in 10 minutes anyway.

PDA Tip of the Day 6

Don't stick your hands in your partner's pockets or pants. It's one thing to retrieve a wallet if his hands are occupied, but as a general rule this is not a good idea. If you want somewhere to put your hands, your own pockets will do just fine.

One TodD friend tells of a story when he was in Walmart waiting to return an item. One customer in front of him had her hand down the crack. Who wants to touch anything after this person?!?!

Bonus tip: Carry disinfectant spray at all times.

PDA Tip of the Day 5

Don't do anything in front of me you wouldn't do in front of your mother. Unless your mother's a tramp, in which case you should defer to other tips.

-TVM

PDA Tip of the Day 4

Do not overuse pet names in public. Hon is ok, but Snickerpookiepoo is not.

PDA Tip of the Day 3

When you are in a group, act like it. If you have to have a serious conversation or fight between just the two of you, wait until you are alone. Keep personal jokes to a minimum. You are still an individual person; it's awkward when your friends don't feel like they can just talk to one of you at a time.

PDA Tip of the Day 2

No Groping. You don't have to be touching the entire time you are together. An arm around the shoulder or holding a hand is fine, but aware of how your actions may distract others. In church last week, there was a man who kept rubbing his wife's shoulder. This would have been ok if she wasn't wearing a down jacket. Every movement made an annoying swishy noise. I'm trying to pay attention to the sermon and all I hear is "swish, swish, swish." It's also weird to play with hair and massage backs and necks in public. Keep movement to a minimum.

PDA Tip of the Day 1

You've found yourself "a better half" - Congratulations! Public Displays of Affection, better known as PDA, can be a sweet way of showing that you care. It can also be a way to make other people's skin crawl. Balance is the key here. Here are some tips so that you will keep your friends from wanting to vomit every time they see you coming.

1. Don't makeout in public. This should be obvious, but some don't know. Yes, the line to get on a King's Island ride can be really long, but don't use that time to multitask on your partner's face. It's uncomfortable and people don't know where to look.

Dating Tip of the Day

Most people are somewhat leary of giving their phone number to complete strangers. But there's one situation in which ANYONE will give their phone number to ANYONE. That's when they're trying to sell their car. We've all seen it, the rusty junker barreling down Nicholasville Road that screams "For Sale, 555-1212."

If you happen to see a hot girl in such a car, do NOT attempt to ask her out by calling the number on her for-sale car, that is, unless you're as interested in the car as you are in her. (In which case, I'd say, "go for it!") You see, there are a whole slew of terrible things that could happen if you do this. Here are several of those. First, keep in mind, you don't know her name. So, what are you REALLY going to say? "Um, I'm looking for the hot girl selling the car...?" Or, what if it's her DAD'S car that's for sale? Then, just say "wrong number!" Another horrible scenario would be that she uses her innate "hotness" to persuade you to buy a car you don't want/need. Then what happens in 3 months when it's a LEMON and leaves you sit on Circle 4? Plus, if you DO end up dating her, with her old junker, she'll HATE riding in the car she was TRYING to get rid of! CONFLICT. See, while it may seem like an easy way to get a girl's digits, this plan is riddled with deceit, conflict, and broken cars.

Fondue Tip of the Day

Yes, it's been said, the quickest way to a woman's heart is through fondue via her chafing dish. Well, not exactly, but chocolate covered strawberries certainly are an aphrodisiac. At any rate, for the sheer reason that fondue is a turn-on for women, it is obviously difficult and temperamental. Let's start with chocolate. One essential is a double-boiler. Or, if you like bubble gum, "dubble" boiler. This boils the water, and then you put the chocolate in the "dubble" part, so as not to scald it. Chocolate will BURN if you look at it funny, I've found. Now. You think you're done when the chocolate melts, but OH no. It will be too thick. It will never stick to strawberries, or anything girls like for that matter. So, you have to add milk. But when you do, it will simultaneously be gooey, runny, and STIFF all at the same time--it defies science. Don't panic. Add more milk. And keep stirring. Eventually, it will be silky smooth--just like the ladies will perceive you to be. Dip your sensuous accouterments and just be careful not to injure yourself, like the guy in this video. Thanks, Steph, for finding this amazing ad!