Incarceration Tip of the Day

Lexington Kentucky has hit an infamous milestone. The place where a man has been arrested 1000 times. All the charges accruing in Lexington. For his 1,000th charge the judge sentenced Henry Earl to 1,000 days in jail saying it was only appropriate. Today's tip: Quit while you're ahead.

IRS Tip of the Day

Here's a tip to the IRS.

Dear IRS,

I will gladly pay taxes to live in the greatest country on our planet. But for the love of all things good and green, could you possibly make it any harder to pay you? As a college graduate who owns a business, a house and a dog, I don't claim to be a genius, but I should be able to easily figure out how much money I owe. Instead, I have to resort to hiring a tax professional at my own expense. I'd try it myself, but if I make a mistake, you'll find me, steal said house and dog (and college degree) and put me in jail. So I just wanted to say I think it's mean. As a business owner, I doubt I'd have any clients if I made them fill out a form to calculate how much money they owed me. When you owe someone money, you should get an invoice from them. Plain and simple. So send me a frickin' invoice, and I'll pay your frickin' taxes.

Regards,
Jason

P.S. When I call you to ask a question about your insanely difficult process, whatever you do, do NOT hang up on me. TWICE.

P.P.S. When I finally do get to talk to you, do me a favor and try to actually know the answer to my question. If you don't even know how your system works, how can I be expected to know?

Voting Tipsy of the Day

No booze: Kentucky law prohibits the sale of alcoholic beverages while polls are open. So if you can wait until 6pm tonight you'll be all set.

Airline Tip of the Day

If you're flying American Airlines, hope you don't have to check, carry-on or gate-check any of the items below, because they're not covered if lost, damaged or destroyed. I think this list pretty much covers ANYTHING-- especially the "or anything of any value" or "anything fragile" statements. If they do break your stuff and absolve themselves of any responsibility, you can always file a complaint with the FTC.

Directly from American Airlines' "Customer Service" (if you can call it that) received almost one month after emailing them:

"We do not accept responsibility for antiques, artifacts, artwork, books and documents, china, computers and other electronic equipment, computer software, fragile items (including child/infant restraint devices such as strollers and car seats), eyeglasses,
prescription sunglasses, non-prescription sunglasses and all other eyewear and eye/vision devices whether lenses are glass, plastic, or some other material, furs, heirlooms, items carried in the passenger compartment of the aircraft, liquids, medicines, money, orthotics, surgical supports, perishable items, photographic, video and optical equipment, precious metals, stones or jewelry, securities and negotiable papers, silverware, samples, unique or irreplaceable items or any other similar valuable items."

Glad to know that good ole American Airlines will replace 1. my old underwear, 2. that bar of Dial soap they lost, and 3. oh, I guess that's it.

Spying Tip of the Day

Thanks to our friends Sydney and Jack Bristow from Alias for this tip. If you ever decide to extract someone who poses a TREMENDOUS threat to national security for WHATEVER purpose, don't under any circumstance handcuff him or her to a nearby railing while you go kill people. Chances are, he'll figure a way out and you shouldn't assume he'll be right where you left him. Just a thought. It may end up being something you regret for a long while. So, good luck with that. Come to think of it, don't extract someone like this ANYWAY!

Blogging Tip of the Day

Sometimes we must take this whole free country bit a tad too lightly. Turns out, in countries that don't have this whole freedom-of-speech-thing, you can't complain about the government. Turns out a dude in Iran got thrown in jail for 14 years for insulting the country's leaders. That natural tip from this is: If don't don't live in a country with feedom of speech, don't pretend that you do.

Complicated Tip of the Day

Have you ever thought that life is too complicated? Do you often get caught up in the details that just drive you insane on a daily basis? Well, in my experiences over the past month at the United States Navy's Officer Candidate School, my classmates and I have learned to embrace these details. During our inspections, we are required to have our names stenciled perfectly on every article of clothing that we own. Our underwear and t-shirts are to be folded into a 6" square as well as our socks to be folded 6" in length. The list goes on and on and on, but I will spare you the details.

Military life is very regimented and quite frustrating at times; however, it's not that bad. There are little things that are very simple and quite hilarious to keep us occupied. The one detail in particular that I would like to highlight and even challenge everyone to try is a part of our 'chow hall' procedures. From day one at OCS until the end of the show, we eat 3 square meals a day... breakfast at 0600, lunch at 1100, and dinner at 1700. Here's the catch... eat everything with a spoon! No forks or knives, no American or Continental style of eating... simply pull out your trusty 'war spoon' and go to town on pancakes, cereal, chicken, fish, and even steak! You might think I'm crazy... and you would be right in thinking that. But eating with one untensil instead of three is just a small step into making life less complicated.

-OC Calton

Jury Tip of the Day

It's a beautiful, sunny day and everything is going well until you walk to your mailbox and open it up. In it lies the fateful letter calling you to do your civic duty: JURY DUTY. You scream. You yell. You attempt to burn the letter and discover it is nonflammable! You then realize you have to accept your fate. However, here is some advice to those of you who will one day receive this letter that requires you to call every night for a MONTH to discover whether or not you have to report. It's annoying, let me tell you. However, here is how I successfully avoided major jury duty and virtually escaped unharmed, having only to report twice.

First of all, you have to complain a lot when you get the letter. You have to call everyone you know, e-mail them, IM them, whatever it takes so that everyone knows that you DO NOT want to serve jury duty, that it is the biggest inconvenience ever, and you are very upset with your government and questioning those Bill of Rights that you hold so dear. Warn your boss you may be out of the office all the time the next month, and prepare for the worst. Then go to jury duty orientation and listen to the judge. Realize that this is your civic duty, that you may actually want to serve on a jury and serve your country. It's an honor after all, you tell yourself. (So now, you are secretly hoping that you will be chosen to sit on the jury and hear a trial.) At the end of orientation, when given the opportunity, you must ask to be excused from a day during the month (chose a doctor's appointment, a work related activity, etc.). This part is VERY vital to getting out of jury duty. You must choose a day in the middle of the month, in the middle of the week. Preferably, a Wednesday or a Thursday around the 17th or 18th. If you follow these simple steps you should be successful in having to report only once during the entire month. Oh yes--and the day you do have to report, have lots of issues with the trial. Oh--and it's good to be chosen for February--it's a short month after all. :) Good Luck!

-Rach