Potted Meat Food Product Tip of the Day

So a friend told me about an intriguing product he found on the top shelf at the grocery store. Libby's Potted Meat Food Product. What at first it sounds like a cousin to the Chia Pet, this wonder of the modern age contains an ingredient list straight from the ghost stores told to little chicks. "Mechanically Separated Chicken, Partially Defatted Beef Fatty Tissue, Partially Defatted Pork Fatty Tissue." Yum!

More great canned meat products are showcased on this page

Office Tip of the Day

While we try not to post Forwards to Tip O Da Day, this one is particularly funny. And if life around the office has been getting a little boring we sure haven't be doing our part to add excitement. So instead, spice it up a little bit with a few well placed dares. Treat the winner to Friday Bar-B-Que

One-Point Dares

1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Two Point Dares

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Five Point Dares

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9. In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16. Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts. And if that wasn't enough for you...

How to keep a healthy level of insanity outside the office

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7. Don't use any punctuation
8. Use, too...much; punctuation!
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Comic Recycling Tip of the Day

If you're one of those people who claims not to like Garfield because you "don't like talking cats who eat lasagna," then boy, are you in luck today. Check out Garfield Minus Garfield - a revolutionary comic strip for the modern day!

24 Tip of the Day

Imagine if '24' were set in 1994, a time before cell phones and fast Internet access. Imagine Jack Bauer being dependent on AOL, Windows 3.1 and floppy disks. If you can, then you have a taste of the fun you'll have watching this '24' parody: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1788161
-Michael W.
tip-unless you want slow internet, stay in 2008

3rd Tip of our Bithday

Can you believe it? Pete & Jay's Tip O Da Day is 3 years old today. We just passed 1,000 tips last month. This website also decided to start it's own website, Tip of the Day Recommends….

Since we just did the big "best of" tip for our 1,000th tip. We'll recap the 22 tips between that time, with its own best of:

Best Series 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Best Way to save money while eating out: Three Way Tie
Best Grammar Tip
Best use of ™
Best things to do while you can't sleep
Best tip we thought we posted years ago but didn't
Best use of the word "cocky"
Best consumer empowerment tip
Best tip your mom always told you but you never believed
The most free of anyone thing mentioned in a tip
Best gift giving tip
Best gift not getting tip
The tip learned by almost everyone I knew at the same time
The only christmas gift I've ever received as the result of a tip

Oh wait, that's every tip since the 1,000th. We'll give one more award. Best reader of tips: you. Thanks!

PDA Tip of the Day 7

Your loved one calls while you are in the group. Here's a conversation that your friends should never hear:

"I love you too...No, I love you more...nooooo, I love you more...You hang up first...Ok, bye....you still there?...You hang up first....On the count of three, we'll both hang up...one...two...love you....three...Snookums?...Seriously, this time, we'll hang up...."

This invokes the gag reflex in all around you. In order to avoid a cleanup in aisle 12, don't let this happen to you. Just hang up the phone already. You'll probably see them in 10 minutes anyway.

HydroSlide 2008™ Tip of the Day

Decide you want to get healthy in 2008? Don't like getting sweaty? Here's the plan for you: Start running in place while in the shower. If you like the elliptical machine better, lather your feet with soap before beginning. You may need to install a handicap bar in order to prevent a concussion. Do not install grippers on the tub floor or it will make it too hard to slide.

-conglomerate tip from Hunter, Brett, and others

Soulja Dog Tip of the Day

Looking for something fun to do today? Check out this great video below of Cheddar and Barclay, set to the ridiculous hiphop tune "Soulja Boy" which we're not sure why is popular. If you're offended by a little crass rap language, turn your volume down! BTW, according to UrbanDictionary.com, the two phrases "cockin' on ya" and "jockin' on ya" mean "pulling a gun" and "copying you" respectively. A lot less crass than you'd expect.

Glamorous Tip of the Day

We at Tip of the Day Labs thought this parody of Fergie's hit tune "Glamorous" was pretty hilarious. Crafted by Don't Be That Guy's own Tripp Crosby, it appears this video was used for a church service. Check out the video, as long as you're not offended by white pastors who think they can dance and rap like Luda-Kris-Sundheimer-VanderMolen.

Too Far Tip of the Day

All good things can be taken too far. Like this great thing, an "LOLCat" is awesome. But some in the greater LOLCat community have found the need to take LOLCats a bit too far. (Julie and XT, you should be proud that I have some limits when it comes to LOLCats.) They've taken it too far by creating the LOLCat Bible. Yes, they really are translating the entire Holy Bible in LOLCat-ese. Now, I clearly think LOLCats are hilarious. LOL, even. But do we really need the New International LOLCat Version of the Bible? And who has time to do these things? At the end of some pathetic nerd's life, at least he'll be able to say he translated the book of Job into LOLCat.

Sale Tip of the Day

Speaking of starting your Christmas shopping early. Here is a quick tip for something that is sure to be on your family's list. Harbor Freight Tools, "America's Favorite Tool Store®" has a great price right now on motion activated pigs. But hurry their sale ends October 15th.

Speaking of 38% off, that is also how much you can save if you buy an iPod shuffle refurbished over its original price.

Hair Tip of the Day

Do your pig/ponytails get tired easily? Simply rest them on the top of most headrests, to give them a break. They will be ready and raring to go for the rest of your busy day!

Imitation Tip of the Day

Be wary buying imitation products from people because you truly get what you pay for.

Over-the-Hump (that's what she said) Tip of the Day

Well, we're just over the hump (that's what she said) and I'm sure all of us could use a quick pick-me up (that's what she said). So we thought we'd give you something good (that's what she said) so you can make it all week (that's what she said.) If you're offended by approximately PG-13 humor, don't watch this video. Then again, it was aired by NBC, so it can't be that bad (that's what she said.)

Chigger Myth of the Day

If you're a displaced Yankee who moved to the South after adulthood, you may be confused by a few things 'round here such as 1. Confederate flags (even though they LOST the Civil War), 2. people who sit in lawn furniture in their garage (who DOES that?) and 3. CHIGGERS. What the eff are chiggers?

When I first heard as a freshman in college that those tiny itchy bumps around my sock line were flesh-penetrating, egg-laying parasites, I did EXACTLY what the "more experienced Southerners" told me to: put bright red nail polish on each bump to suffocate those heinous vermin.

But what I found out was that Southerners are ignorant not only of what side won the war, they're also ignorant of what chiggers really are, and how they work. My skepticism of chiggers piqued when an anonymous friend "nail-polished" their entire, er... sanitary area, after getting chiggered, because who wants parasites that close to the moneymaker?

Well, according to a very informative article in Wikipedia, chiggers are known as "Harvest Mites" and do not, in fact, burrow deep within the skin. While this may come as a relief, they still have a rather disgusting practice which involves crawling onto your skin, injecting it with enzymes and chewing up tiny bits of skin. Ew! This leaves the characteristic red, itchy bump. But, contrary to popular belief, they do NOT burrow, and after chewing up your skin, they're gone. PTL!

So, thought I, the whole "nail polish" gimmick was just to make an idiot out of innocent believers. But, the nail polish DOES serve a purpose. Because it prevents air contact with the skin, the nail polish enables the chigger mini-infection to be less irritated and probably heal up quicker. Who knew!?

Office Tip of the Day

We're not sure if this is legal, but we love it. A YouTube member has painstakingly edited versions of each episode of NBC's "The Office" into YouTube legit 10-minute versions. So if you missed some episodes, you can easily catch up by watching these clips.

And, a bonus clip (not by the same contributor):

TP Tip of the Day

According to Rosie, you can't use just one...sheet of toilet paper as Sheryl Crowe believes.

Oompa Loompa Tip of the Day

There was some strong reaction to our troll tip of the day, that appeared well over a year ago. We need to follow up on some of the mythological humanoid beings that we left out.

Leprechauns are like elves in many ways yet are a distinct, if not as populous, species. Their wardrobe is very monochromatic, but unlike most celebrities aren't judged harshly by the public on their outfits. And they are celebrities, there is very little that will get children more excited in a grocery store than the sight of Lucky in the cereal aisle. Leprechauns are known for protecting things, and they me be a useful deterrent for Robert Goulet. Mr Goulet, has received significant training from Gnomes. They both like to mess with stuff just for the fun of it. Moving on to Tree Sprites, very little is known about them. The Keebler elves were not able to be reached for this story, it is thought that they have insider information on their fellow tree dwelling beings. When asking Tip O Da Day's Keiser about Tree Sprites, he kept changing the subject. Based on several behavioral qualities, tt is the suspicion of this reporter that Keiser was raised by Tree Sprites, but presently this claim is unsubstantiated. More is known about Oompa Loompa's thanks to their predominate role in the wildly popular Charlie and the Chocolate Factory books and movies. They are extremely moral and musical creatures. They despise the vices of human children and can compose songs on the fly about those vices.

RSS Followup of the Weekend

A few months ago we gave you an overview of RSS Feeds and how to use them. The problem is that you may not want to leave yet another program open and running all the time, it's just one more thing to check. How about email? Everyone who is even remotely interested in RSS Feeds already uses email. Check out RssFwd a little free service that will email you the contents of an RSS Feed every time it is updated! Just head to the site and type in our address: http://tips.petervcook.com and then it will ask for your email address.

Another little self promotional update. Amanda's Quotebook has been completely reprogrammed and it now 200% cooler than before. You can sort by quoter, the archive is all pretty and we've added an RSS Feed. So pair that with the above tip, and you could have an email delivered every time someone posts a new quote.

1984 Tip of the Day

For one day only, we're kickin' it old school and pretending like it's 1984! This isn't a glitch, it's just plain fun!

Google Tip of the Day

Google, the fun loving company they are. Always has a fun "new product" on April Fools Day. This year it's free commode based Wi-Fi.

Update: Turns out Gmail had their own prank too.

Troll Tip of the Day

Based on the discussion following our last mythological humanoid type creature discussion there seems to be some different preconceived notions about what some of these beings are, and who is the proper spokes person for their species. Well here are my observations on who should be the poster child for each being, and well since this is my site, I will exploit that fact and hereby propose that the following notions are "right" if not always "accurate" (remember we don't hold journalistic integrity very high around here). If you want journalism visit Fox News or something.

First, a quick clarification of Gnomes. You can tell he's up to something by his hands are always behind his back. Now on to dwarves, dwarves are real vicious and good fighters. Because of the skills in combat they are not to be confused with Munchkins. If munchkins had any mad skillz (asides from lollypop licking), they would have easily been able to beat off a couple of monkeys and take care of that witch themselves. Trolls I'm really split on. There are these nasty looking but not mean trolls and of course the mean trolls such as the ones that guard bridges, and then there are the treasure trolls, which were the popular collecting toy in the 90's. I feel like treasure trolls might not actually be troll, they might be gnomes with long hair. Reportedly gnomes get very agry if you take off their hat, it might be because they have a full head of hot pink hair hiding under there.

Elf Tip of the Day

Now it can be very confusing when it comes to figuring out which small mythological humanoid type creatures are to blame when things aren't as you remember leaving them. At work when you come in the next morning and one of your files you know you saved the day before is mysteriously missing, you can likely assume gnomes are the cause of the trouble. All gnomes are mischievious, but not all gnomes are necessarily evil like gremlins. Gnomes, such as the garden variety, are inherently good, but still mischievious. Just imagine what would happen if you put the Travelocity gnome and the Orbitz marionettes in the same room.

Now on the other side, if something good happens, you can pretty much make a safe bet and say that Elves did it. A) Elves are always good B) Elves have a past history for making things on humans' behalf. Now it is important to note that there are really three main types of elves. There are the little elves, such as those who make cookies and shoes, Santa's elves who are tireless workers, and full-sized "We are really good with arrows and generally hot-looking" Lord of the Rings elves.

So, in summary: Gnomes are mischievous, but if your desk is more organized then you remember it, it was probably an elf, but probably not Orlando Bloom. And we haven't even touched the topic of trolls and wood-sprites yet, much less dwarves.

Grammer Tip of the Day

Punjab
Usage: geographical name
1: region NW Indian subcontinent in Pakistan & NW India occupying valleys of the Indus & its five tributaries; formerly a province of British India capital Lahore

Function: bad joke
2: the almost humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest multiple meanings while attempting to be harsh or "cut-down" another individual.