How to wear a scarf?

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How-To Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part VI)

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6. Form a Militia - This one may take a little planning. There was once a time where you only had to ride a horse through town in the middle of the night screaming about Redcoats, but that sort of business will get you locked up in a padded cell these days. An alternative, though, is to have lots of kids (if you have a hot wife, all the better). Your kids will willingly join your militia for the promise of some Mac & Cheese, or a trip to the zoo. Important: Make sure trigger-happy Janet Reno is not in the area.
By Citizen Grim
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part I)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part II)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part III)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part IV)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part V)
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Spelling Tip of the Day

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I have always had a hard time spelling the word "hors d'oeuvres," for the times I've sent out party invites. And it's a pain in the tush to try and find it on M-W.com. So here's a good way to remember how to spell it:

HORSE (but no"E") + DOE+ UVRAYS (But spelled like it's pronounced by Julie Andrews in the D0-Re-Mi song on the Sound of Music...UV UV+RE...silent H...S)

Then remember there's an apostrophe after "D." Or, if you took French (I did not), apparently "oeuvres" means "works," if you can remember that (I'm not putting money on it, because I just used freetranslation.com). Here's a fun article on food spellings.
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Sensitivity Tip of the Day

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When a friend, who is visually distraught (cracking voice/moisture under the eyes), it might not always be best to agree with them. Say for example, she just had a bad, um I don't know, eyebrow waxing incident. She might ask some thing like "do I have angry eyes?" This would be a perfect time, even for the super agreeable person, to disagree with their question. If you're up for an extra challenge, just don't lie through your teeth. Come up with something creative and sweet, such as "Could you try to smile for me real quick." (wait for smile) "No, your eyes don't look angry when you're smiling."
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