Dearest Punxsutawney Phil: I know you been doing this whole Groundhog Day thing for a while now, but you might want to modify your Spring forecasting methods. I don't know if you've been keeping track, but someone has, and it turns out you have been wrong 58% of the time. Yes, on a test with two possible choices, you get over half the questions wrong. This winter, you might just want to change it up a bit. If you see your shadow, you might just want to tell those dudes in the Inner Circle , in your best Groundhogese that you didn't, or vice versa. Because according to statistics, you would improve your average if you just lied every time. Or even better, this is just a suggestion, I don't know how much influence you have over this whole thing but why don't you just reverse what your shadow means. For example, with the current guidelines, if you see your shadow there will be six more weeks of winter weather. That doesn't make a lick of sense. If it's nice and...