Pete & Jay's Tip O Da "Day"

Have you ever wondered what pulling your emergency break would do while traveling at a high rate of speed? Well don't, it's not good. In 100% of the cases we studied (totaling 2) we found that boyfriends and girlfriends broke-up not too long after the incident if both were in the car during the event. The E-Brake, "a great way to put a quick stop on your relationship!"

Um, guys it's Valentines Day. You're welcome

If you don't want to marry a goat , don't try any hanky panky .

Your loved one calls while you are in the group. Here's a conversation that your friends should never hear: "I love you too...No, I love you more...nooooo, I love you more...You hang up first...Ok, bye....you still there?...You hang up first....On the count of three, we'll both hang up...one...two...love you....three...Snookums?...Seriously, this time, we'll hang up...." This invokes the gag reflex in all around you. In order to avoid a cleanup in aisle 12, don't let this happen to you. Just hang up the phone already. You'll probably see them in 10 minutes anyway.

Don't stick your hands in your partner's pockets or pants. It's one thing to retrieve a wallet if his hands are occupied, but as a general rule this is not a good idea. If you want somewhere to put your hands, your own pockets will do just fine. One TodD friend tells of a story when he was in Walmart waiting to return an item. One customer in front of him had her hand down the crack. Who wants to touch anything after this person?!?! Bonus tip: Carry disinfectant spray at all times.

Don't do anything in front of me you wouldn't do in front of your mother. Unless your mother's a tramp, in which case you should defer to other tips. -TVM

Do not overuse pet names in public. Hon is ok, but Snickerpookiepoo is not.

When you are in a group, act like it. If you have to have a serious conversation or fight between just the two of you, wait until you are alone. Keep personal jokes to a minimum. You are still an individual person; it's awkward when your friends don't feel like they can just talk to one of you at a time.

No Groping. You don't have to be touching the entire time you are together. An arm around the shoulder or holding a hand is fine, but aware of how your actions may distract others. In church last week, there was a man who kept rubbing his wife's shoulder. This would have been ok if she wasn't wearing a down jacket. Every movement made an annoying swishy noise. I'm trying to pay attention to the sermon and all I hear is "swish, swish, swish." It's also weird to play with hair and massage backs and necks in public. Keep movement to a minimum.

You've found yourself "a better half" - Congratulations! Public Displays of Affection, better known as PDA, can be a sweet way of showing that you care. It can also be a way to make other people's skin crawl. Balance is the key here. Here are some tips so that you will keep your friends from wanting to vomit every time they see you coming. 1. Don't makeout in public. This should be obvious, but some don't know. Yes, the line to get on a King's Island ride can be really long, but don't use that time to multitask on your partner's face. It's uncomfortable and people don't know where to look.