Groundhog Tip of the Day

Dearest Punxsutawney Phil:

I know you been doing this whole Groundhog Day thing for a while now, but you might want to modify your Spring forecasting methods. I don't know if you've been keeping track, but someone has, and it turns out you have been wrong 58% of the time. Yes, on a test with two possible choices, you get over half the questions wrong. This winter, you might just want to change it up a bit. If you see your shadow, you might just want to tell those dudes in the Inner Circle, in your best Groundhogese that you didn't, or vice versa. Because according to statistics, you would improve your average if you just lied every time. Or even better, this is just a suggestion, I don't know how much influence you have over this whole thing but why don't you just reverse what your shadow means. For example, with the current guidelines, if you see your shadow there will be six more weeks of winter weather. That doesn't make a lick of sense. If it's nice and sunny out, I would say spring is on its way, but then again I'm not a weather-forecasting rodent, so what do I know?

From a Concerned Citizen,
Peter Cook


JCo said…
I am so impressed that Punxsutawney is spelled right - now that is a messed up word! Try searching for it on the web when you have no idea how to spell it correctly and see how many people spell it wrong with you! It's amazing!
Pete said…
Thanks Jen, Its always good when I actually get complimented on my spelling. May be this is the dawn of a preverbal new day.
Jules said…
I think you should have signed it:

Critical letters are always better when you sign it, "Love."

In light of Groundhog Day, my friend, Cherie, and I are going to start our own forecasting holiday: the Mama Llama Day. Sometime after dinner, (which is so much preferable than the morning for me, and since I'm creating the holiday...) on the Monday after the NFL conference championships the Mama Llama will come out and decide which conference will win the Super Bowl: the AFC or the NFC. The Mama will do this by kissing me on the right cheek (my face, you guys, FACE) for the AFC and on the left for the NFC. If she's right, both Cherie and I get to go to Disney World. I know we have to wait a year to celebrate this holiday for the first time, but that will give us a chance to get t-shirts made and spread the word.
Kris said…
I'm not sure how many of you watched the groundhog this morning, but gosh, if I were the groundhog, I think I'd see my shadow every year too! All those people yelling outside my house, then some giant comes and raps on my door with this huge stick and drags me out of my house! I say change the meaning, the poem is pre-written anyway.
Alison said…
Julie, I love your holiday idea. Much better than Groundhog Day. It reminds me of an ad that I saw in a Martha Stewart Magazine: it featured a llama in the front yard of a suburban house and read "Llamas: a touch of class." You know all those groundhogs are riff-raff--they totally try to get Punxsutawney drunk the day before he's supposed to see his shadow. Heck, that poor guy is probably still drunk that morning.

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