Sensitivity Tip of the Day

When a friend, who is visually distraught (cracking voice/moisture under the eyes), it might not always be best to agree with them. Say for example, she just had a bad, um I don't know, eyebrow waxing incident. She might ask some thing like "do I have angry eyes?" This would be a perfect time, even for the super agreeable person, to disagree with their question. If you're up for an extra challenge, just don't lie through your teeth. Come up with something creative and sweet, such as "Could you try to smile for me real quick." (wait for smile) "No, your eyes don't look angry when you're smiling."


Alison said…
WHAT? Peter--my friend--telling a poor girl that "her eyes don't look angry when she's smiling" is yes, creative, but sweet? No, my kind, brutually honest friend. It is not. The reasoning behind this is that your comment implies "but once you stop smiling...oh, buddy...those eyes are angry!" Peter--when talking about a woman's clothes/body/personal grooming/etc it is always safe to pretend that all is well. NO MATTER WHAT. When a female asks "does my breath smell?" No. "Does this make me look fat?" No. "Do my eyes look angry?" NO. Until women around the world are not offended by these things, then it will be safe to tell them that "yes, your breath is rank", "yes, you look a little curvier than usual" and "yes, your eyeslook angry." Until then...beware, Peter...BEWARE. (P.S. This may or may not apply to men with their wives. It really depends on her mood.)
Rachel C. Clay said…
I have to agree with Alison on this one Pete. In this case, lieing though your teeth is a much better plan than creativity. We are not trying to stop the creativity, because it something most girls very much admire. But there is a reason that guys have been conditioned to tell a girl what they want to hear in certain situations. It's cause girls do not want to hear anything else. Your effort is highly admirable though.
Jules said…
I'm glad that Peter is creative, since he works with me at Cre8tive Group. But as the victim of Peter's "creative" comments in the past, as well as the victim of his brutal honesty after the waxing incident, I will concur that this new comment would not have been received any better. That isn't sweet, and girls aren't stupid. They know how to do the math - "If my eyes aren't angry when I'm smiling, then that must mean..."

Ok, I'm going to "out" Peter here... because after we've jumped all over him about this, everyone deserves to know that he's not the insensitive man he appears to be. After Peter agreed that I had angry eyes as a result of the bad waxing job, I stalked out of the house to pout in the driveway. He came out after me a minute later. After a few moments of standing silence he said with utmost sincerity... "Julie, you know you're still beautiful."

And that is what the tip should have been.
Alison said…
(Sighing with contentment at Julie's post) Ok, Peter. I have to admit it...that was a good one.
Jay said…
Wow, Pete. You went from 0-60 in 3 posts! Good work!
JCo said…
So ladies, why do we ask those questions where we will only hear and accept the "right" answer that we have already decided upon in our own mind or else become cranky and sulky etc? Why ask in the first place? Any thoughts on that one?
Anonymous said…
I think there are several positive ways to avoid situations like this one.

a) Embrace the new eyebrows. Rather than asking if your eyes appear angry, maybe just buy some plastic fangs and a cape and then snarl at anyone who looks at you. This is especially fun in shopping malls. If you can foam at the mouth, honey, do it. Then sit back and watch small children run.

b) Don't even ask the question. Reverse the obvious by starting the morning's conversations with, "It's hard to stay humble when I look this good" and then turn the tables on the poor boy who stares at your eyebrows by saying, "WHAT. What's your problem? Why won't you look me in the eye? You don't understand me...(you never take me anywhere, blah, blah...)"

c) Distraction is key. If you wear one of those fake strap-on pregnancy bellies or giant clown pants, and you act as if nothing is out of the ordinary, people will assume you're crazy and leave you alone.

Hope that helps. - Teresa
Pete said…
The point I was trying to make, is that someone who did their job poorly can make anyone mad. But remember, there are more than eye brows that make someone look angry. When I get mad, I look angry and I've never had my 'brows waxed. Right now I might not have the best way to say that, but I hope that I am understood.

For the rest of you
Jules said…
Jen - I think it's obvious why we do it... we're looking for affirmation, plain and simple. We need people to tell us we're beautiful, we're funny, we're worthy. I'm not saying it's right - but I truly believe that's why it continues.

I will also say that I didn't ASK him if I had these so-called angry eyes. I was upset and venting my feelings. Sometimes you just need people to listen - not agree with the crazy things you say. :) But again, I'm not slamming PC. He's just boy who doesn't know what to do with crazy girls sometimes. We don't come with manuals apparently.

Teresa - Your comment is SO FUNNY! You're awesome. :)

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