Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, August 06, 2007

Easy-Setup-Pool Tip of the Day I

If you're like me, you love being in the water! So when you find out that owning a pool is both inexpensive and "easy," of course you should get one, right?

First, pick up your pool at Walmart; yes, Walmart. Then discover that an 18' pool won't fit in your back yard. Return pool.

Exchange the pool for the 12' model, which will fit nicely in the backyard.

Look around for 30 minutes to try to figure out what type of chlorine to put in your pool, and how much. Leave without chlorine. "I'll come back later."

Get back home, unpack the box and observe "must setup pool on completely level surface." Ignore warning, but try to "grade off" your heinously sloped backyard a wee bit with a garden shovel.

Unpack the pool liner, and spread it out on the "level" ground. Stop reading the instructions and try to figure things out on your own.

Realize you need to inflate the upper ring, but don't have a pump.

Run to Walmart, park in the garden section (bonus tip) and pick up pump for $9.96 (made by pool company). Inflate upper ring.

Try to finagle pool into right place without any luck. Break out those instructions, and realize you were supposed to put the ring OUTSIDE the pool, not inside.

Deflate upper ring, put ring OUTSIDE the pool.

Reinflate upper ring; cursing is permitted.

Smooth out wrinkles in pool floor. This is not optional, even if you thought it was.

Begin putting water in your pool! The fun part!

Go outside after half and hour and realize when they said "must be on completely level surface," they meant it. Observe water spilling out one side of the pool, and not even a drop of water in the other side. F.

Deflate upper ring along with your ego.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Kris said...

Sounds like quite the adventure! I wonder what one does if there is no Walmart close by and they stopped delivering APO! I guess I could run to CORA (the Walmart of France) and see if they have one, but I'd better get everything all at once because it's almost an hour away!

06 August, 2007 09:11

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Hilarious. I can picture it all in my head.

06 August, 2007 16:29

 
Blogger Blair said...

I wonder if Jason would fly if we inflated his ego with helium.

06 August, 2007 16:45

 
Blogger Jay said...

Kris--I'll send you mine when I'm done w/ it. :-)

Amanda--wait, there's more...

Blair--technically my EGO would fly if it were inflated with helium. :-)

06 August, 2007 17:11

 
Blogger Blair said...

Only one way to find out.

Jason is an entrepreneur

Jason's desks fall apart when he wants them to.

Jason's never been turned down in
his life.

Jason's hair should be on the OC.

Guys need to join the Jason Parmer fashion school for men.

Jason knows how to have fun on the trampoline.

Jason's Christine is a Queen Frostine

Jason's phone bills are 10 pages long with 15 texts a day

Some of Jason's friends are Discover, Visa, Mastercard, and American Express

Jason has the frequent flier miles

If Jason were a car he'd be a Porsche GT3!

Is he flying? Come on all together now!

06 August, 2007 19:07

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Hip Hip Horray for Jason!!!

06 August, 2007 23:58

 
Blogger Citizen Grim said...

Jason, if all those things are true, you are my hero for life.

07 August, 2007 10:14

 
Blogger Blair said...

Well his phone bills are probably more like 3-5 pages but I think the fact that he's able to complain about his bad flight experiences is saying something.

07 August, 2007 18:08

 
Blogger Citizen Grim said...

In order to better emulate my new hero Jason, I will try to re-live my own worst-flight experiences...


...27 hours over the Atlantic next to a large, smelly, drunken Scot... ...flying through a tornado warning in NE ohio... ...being forced to stay on the plane in Cape Verde... ...a polar bear in the airport... ...stalling in a Cessna... ...being locked in an Orlando terminal overnight with 2,000 other people...


Ahh, now that's therapeutic.

08 August, 2007 13:31

 
Blogger Jay said...

Wow--I'm my own hero too! A GT3? Sweet action.

13 August, 2007 14:14

 

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