Office Tip of the Day
While we try not to post Forwards to Tip O Da Day, this one is particularly funny. And if life around the office has been getting a little boring we sure haven't be doing our part to add excitement. So instead, spice it up a little bit with a few well placed dares. Treat the winner to Friday Bar-B-Que
- Run one lap around the office at top speed.
- Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
- Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
- To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
- Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
- Walk sideways to the photocopier.
- While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Two Point Dares
- Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
- Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
- Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
- Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Five Point Dares
- At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
- Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
- For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
- Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
- After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
- While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
- In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
- At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
- In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
- Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
- Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
- Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
- Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
- Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
- Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
- Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
- During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
- Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts. And if that wasn't enough for you...
How to keep a healthy level of insanity outside the office
- At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
- Don't use any punctuation
- Use, too...much; punctuation!
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"