Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Voting Tip of the Day

With voting day upon us, it's important to note a few things when considering a candidate, for any office really. I call this tip, "things learned from Nicholasville politicians' errors." First, if you're running for the office of Chief Deputy, it really doesn't instill public confidence if you include your cutesy little nickname on your campaign posters like genius Allen "Doodle" Peel did. Now, Mr. "Doodle," I realize many people in Nich-Vegas may know you as "Doodle," and that's great. But, HELLLOOO, you are running for CHIEF DEPUTY which means you are responsible for kicking bad guys in the arse, not carrying around your little sister's Kaboobles while combing your "My Little Pony" and playing double-dutch and hop-scotch. If your nickname were Allen "Death to Villains" Peel, I'd vote for you. Good luck to ya.

Another lesson learned (and this applies to almost EVERY category in life) is to PROOF READ things. Especially if you're mailing something to THOUSANDS of voters trying to gain their vote. If your name is Bob Damron, and you send a 100-word flyer out about how you're trying to reform education, don't neglect to hyphenate words, create run-on sentences, or change verb tenses 3 times in one sentence. The ratio of grammatical errors to words on the page is remarkably high, so it doesn't really instill trust in us that you'll carefully find "more modern facili     ties for our students" or that you "is working to get teachers what they deserve better salaries and more affordable, quality benefits." I'm sure you're a good candidate, Bob. And I MAY still vote for you. But please. Read over something. Carelessness is not one of the characteristics I look for in a candidate.


Blogger Pete said...

Remember to vote today kids (if you're over 18 and registered of course)!

For those in Kentucky, the polls are open from 6am to 6pm. Giving us a full twelve house of the old republic process!

06 November, 2006 23:33

Blogger Amanda said...

Jason, not to be picky, but they are caboodles. And I actually have a quote from you on the subject from my vaulted quote book, "If men can wear purses, women can carry tackle boxes."

And caboodles were VERY cool when I was growing up, even though they hold like three things. I'm surprised they are still around (which they apparently are cause they have a website with locations to get them).

07 November, 2006 08:56

Blogger vander said...

I think that the case in question was actually a ka-doodle, considering the candidate's unfortunate nickname.

I specifically will not vote for anyone who carries caboodles. Or ka-doodles. It's just unnecessary. I might expand that and exclude the Vera Bradley industry, too. I just think, if your handbag's too big, how are you going to usher thugs into the paddywagon? Will we have to elect you a caddy? No, we certainly cannot have such a high maintenance fellow in charge of the pokey. (What do I care? I don't even live here. And Doodle probably doesn' t carry a caboodle, so this is officially the dumbest paragraph ever...but...I...can't...stop...typing...)

07 November, 2006 10:27

Blogger Andy said...

For all those candidates running unopposed, I am writing-in "Jack Bauer."

Fear the man-purse.

07 November, 2006 10:34

Blogger Pete said...

LOL, I just get such a kick out of what the candidates think when they Ego-Search in a couple of weeks.

On the write in thing, it turns out that the person has to file a "Write-In Candidate Declaration of Intent" for the votes to actually count. :-(

07 November, 2006 10:42

Blogger Andy said...

Yes, but I wasn't really expecting to elect a fictional character, anyway. It's more to entertain the vote-tabulating people. :)

07 November, 2006 11:18

Blogger Amanda said...

I have been told by a man who carries a purse that it is in fact a satchel (but I am not fooled by semantics - it's a purse).

07 November, 2006 11:23

Blogger Pete said...

I had always hoped that they would tell you how many votes Jack Bauer got, cause I totally think he could win President at a mid term election. If anyone can do it, he can!

07 November, 2006 16:08

Blogger Jay said...

OMG. I love it. I carry a "MESSENGER BAG" and it is absolutely essential to hold all my gadgets. Namely, my lappy, my iPod, my camera, my lipstick--er, I mean, my FOOTBALL, etc.

07 November, 2006 16:15

Blogger Jay said...

Also, I'll note that there are few political issues we at P&J push. But here is one we agree on. If you haven't yet, VOTE NO on the water takeover by frickin' LFUCG. Think about it--they'll handle the water company exactly like they'll handle drivers' licenses, and painting of yellow curbs. You'll have to wait in line, get a number, and walk to the county clerk's office every time before you take a shower, or do any other act that requires more than 3.5 gallons of water. And, oh, if you want it filtered and purified, that'll cost extra. And there's a form you have to have notarized for that.

07 November, 2006 16:17


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