Worthless Service Tip of the Day

Want to get something shipped to you quickly, but the only rush options are the US Postal Service's express mail? Don't waste your time with this worthless service, particularly if they require you to sign for your package.

Your mailman makes his rounds when you are off at work and can't sign for your package, so he leaves a friendly memo saying that you can pick it up the next day at the Post Office. However, when you go to the Post Office the following day, they tell you that the mailman took it with him on his rounds again! And of course, by the time you get home, there's a friendly memo in your mailbox telling you to go to the Post Office the next day, where (ideally) you could finally pick up your package.

But not so fast, buckaroo! Thinking that even this intrepid employee of the government wouldn't be fiendish enough to take the package on his rounds for a third day, you visit the Post Office only to be informed yet again that he has taken your package out with him again. Clearly, the mailman operates under some obscene moral code that allows him to tell you he'll leave the package at the Post Office, even when he has no intention of doing so.

Paying extra for USPS Express Mail only results in the mailman driving your package around town for the better part of a week. Probably evading you on purpose.


Amanda said…
You said buckaroo.
Jay said…
StUPID WANKER! And yet, what are our alternatives? FedEx (crappy). UPS (crappier.) What can brown do for you? It can "brownulate in my pants" thank you very much.
Amanda said…
And brownulate is a better word than buckaroo. Nice show jayjay. I laughed out loud in class and the kids are like, "What's that noise?"
Anonymous said…
Waiver of signature

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