Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, September 25, 2006

Spider Tip of the Day

With Halloween just around the corner--

(TIME OUT. I just realized Halloween is NOT just around the corner, but Nicholasville residents seem to think it is with the alarming number of hobgoblins, graveyard scenes, etc. in their yards, and they have thusly confused me)

--we pretty much have to resign ourselves to the thought that there will be a lot of spiders around. In light of that, here's what to do when confronted with a nasty little jacker you want to dispose of. First, those stupid little bug vacuums from Sharper Image do NOT work on a Florida-sized spider, you know, the ones that look you in the eye, can talk to you, have opposing digits. Here's the next piece of advice, from Peter, in his words:




Next, once you do relocate the nasty jacker, it's important to trash talk him. It helps elevate his blood pressure, and causes him get confused, unable to think for himself. He'll get himself backed into a corner and will be sweating profusely. You can say to him, "that'll teach you to mess with me, fool!" or "what are you going to do now, punk?" or "who's your daddy, toolface?" Any of them work. Then, kill him, and dispose of the body. Apparently someone else out there in cyberspace had a pretty funny encounter with a spider. And if you don't mind a comical use of the "f-word" and blatant disregard for using the proper "it's", check out this site.

3 Comments:

Blogger Amanda said...

I'm going to get in trouble at work for hitting the content sensor all the time trying to get to the links from this site.

25 September, 2006 09:53

 
Blogger Jay said...

Just tell 'em "Pete and Jay sent ya!" Sorry bout that. I don't know why people in religious institutions don't like the f-bomb.

25 September, 2006 10:13

 
Blogger Amanda said...

I'll just have to wait until I get home and can look at the Internet uncensored.

25 September, 2006 11:10

 

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