Burger Tip of the Day

Those of us who live in the Lexington area have probably driven past that sketchy, yes this clown's name is Sketchy, place on the sketchy north side of town that totes "79 Cent Burgers and Shakes" in a 50s-esque sign. You know you've been curious as to whether or not it's any good. Well, our insiders have tested it, and we're proud to say it's actually a good burger! You probably now have two questions. First, what's it like? And second, how are they able to stay in business? The place is a little "trek back in time." You'll walk in and there will be two old yocals who have been sitting there since '53 when the place opened. They'll stare at you and wonder why you're in "these parts" and expect you to be wearing a varsity letter jacket for admission. You'll then notice a scary contraption, which leads me to answer two. You see, much like Ford discovering the assembly line to lower production costs on their vehicles, the "79 Cent Burger Shack" has learned a valuable lesson. They have a machine that's been churning out delicious burgers since the place opened in '53. I hear it's never shut down. I think it self-maintains itself with burger grease. At any rate, the burger patty is picked up from a pool of indigenous greasy water. It's then put on a metal-runged conveyor belt, and slides out a little chute (so disturbing, right?) that looks like a waterslide. It then passes through the top of the iron-clad beast to be kissed by flames shooting out the top, for a quick second. It then slides down the chute, soon to slide down your intestines.


Pete said…
Pete said…
P.S. Toothless Ricky Looks like a fun guy
Amanda said…
I drove by there this weekend, but couldn't convince my friend to stop. I'm sad I didn't get to try it and meet your friends.

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