Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Friday, December 16, 2005

Troll Tip of the Day

Based on the discussion following our last mythological humanoid type creature discussion there seems to be some different preconceived notions about what some of these beings are, and who is the proper spokes person for their species. Well here are my observations on who should be the poster child for each being, and well since this is my site, I will exploit that fact and hereby propose that the following notions are "right" if not always "accurate" (remember we don't hold journalistic integrity very high around here). If you want journalism visit Fox News or something.

First, a quick clarification of Gnomes. You can tell he's up to something by his hands are always behind his back. Now on to dwarves, dwarves are real vicious and good fighters. Because of the skills in combat they are not to be confused with Munchkins. If munchkins had any mad skillz (asides from lollypop licking), they would have easily been able to beat off a couple of monkeys and take care of that witch themselves. Trolls I'm really split on. There are these nasty looking but not mean trolls and of course the mean trolls such as the ones that guard bridges, and then there are the treasure trolls, which were the popular collecting toy in the 90's. I feel like treasure trolls might not actually be troll, they might be gnomes with long hair. Reportedly gnomes get very agry if you take off their hat, it might be because they have a full head of hot pink hair hiding under there.

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Blogger vander said...

I have always thought that trolls were very big and warty, dwarves very old and grumpy, and gnomes very tiny and jolly. Those pink-haired trolls were just some kind of cross-pollenation mistake. However, I don't know what the Smurfs were.

16 December, 2005 09:50

Anonymous Odesssa said...

What about the oompa loompas?! How could you forget....They even have their own song to sing to ;) http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/willywonkaandthechocolatefactory/oompaloompa.htm

16 December, 2005 10:50

Anonymous Odessa said...

woopsie, guess my link didnt work... here are the lyrics so that you all can sing along....
Artist: Lyrics
Song: Oompa Loompa Lyrics
Oompa Loompas:
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get from a glut of TV?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
Why don't you try simply reading a book?
Or could you just not bear to look?

You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no commercials

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
If you're not greedy you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa
Oompa Loompa doompadee do

16 December, 2005 10:53

Anonymous Andy said...

In this dicussion of People of Diminuative Stature (& Dwarves), I feel the original "little people" - the leprechauns - have been slighted.

16 December, 2005 11:53

Anonymous Andy said...

er, that was redundant. should read "(& Trolls)"

16 December, 2005 11:54

Blogger vander said...

Is a leprechaun its own entity, or is it an elf with special gold-finding capabilities? Keebler and Lucky Charms have joined forces to dilute the original traits of elves and leprechauns and I am confused.

Oompa Loompas, I have to say, should not count because they are, when you get right down to it, simply smallish humans in makeup.

16 December, 2005 13:12

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's more than that. Every time a kid gets eliminated in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory the Oompa Loompas come out and sing. The one Odessa posted was Mike's. Here's Veruca's elimination song.

Oompa Loompas:
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you will listen to me

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
Blaming the kids is a lion of shame
You know exactly who's to blame:
The mother and the father!

Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
If you're not spoiled then you will go far You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do

17 December, 2005 23:59

Anonymous Andy said...

According to Wikipedia, Oompa Loompas are either
1) pygmies "from the very deepest and darkest part of the African jungle," or
2) dwarves who come from Loompaland

19 December, 2005 17:43


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