Top Ten Dumb Guy Tips For Avoiding The Bird Flu

These are from the Late Show with David Letterman from October 26

10. 'Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol'
9. 'Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons'
8. 'Frighten birds by constantly meowing'
7. 'Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird'
6. 'Anti-bacterial smoothies'
5. 'Move to a place where there are no birds, like the moon'
4. 'Avoid birds that look like they're up to something'
3. 'Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking'
2. 'Fill birdfeeder with Sucrets'
1. 'If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets'"

Comments

Jules said…
Hee-larious.
Anonymous said…
"Moving to the moon" is my answer for a good many problems that confront me in my life.
Kris said…
Andy, have you bought your moon-land yet? I hear you can get an acre for $10.
Stephanie said…
Re: Idea #3. There was a guy in Lexington who avoided the whole cholera epidemic (or something of that nature--he actualy buried most of the victims of the illness) because all he drank was whiskey. I guess a lot can be said for not drinking unfiltered well water when a pandemic is released on the masses.
CGrim said…
I have not got my plot on the moon yet. I figure they can't actually sell it unless they've actually been there. So I guess I just have to wait for Neil Armstrong and them to die, and then it's fair game all over again.

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