Acolyte List of the Week

Many of you young lads out there probably experienced the bliss of going to an über-traditional church, which probably afforded you the luxury of experiencing the bliss of being an acolyte. Aside from always having a light for anyone who wants to bum a smoke, you also get to play with fire all during the church service. (Which for a kid, at an über-traditional church is probably pretty fun compared to just sitting there.) But there are a few details you should know about before shaking your pyromaniac groove thang. So, we've put this mini-list of the week together. First thing you should remember:

Remember that lots of things in churches are flammable. These flammable items include, but are not limited to the following: tulle, draperies, the robe you're probably wearing, your friends' eyebrows, eyelashes and hair, the pews, carpeting, hairspray, Grandma's hair, your pet hamster and hymnals, Bibles and programs.