Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Marriagability Tip of the Day

Apparently you kids like marriagability tips, so I am providing more. I worry that some crave advice because they find themselves fundamentally unmarryable, which is sort of sad. Even sadder that you're taking cues from me, because, sweetie, it ain't going to get you anywhere. Nonetheless:

Tailor your DVD collection to potential suitors (or suitesses?). For some, this means that you should hide approximately two-thirds of your Star Trek, Japanimation or NFL Sports Highlights collections when you know company's coming. Or, for example, if you happen to proudly display your Pauly Shore movies, tuck a few away. Avoid teenybopper sensory overload by limiting romantic comedies to two or three. Under no circumstance should you request that your significant other watch an entire season of Gilmore Girls with you, especially if you know you're prone to quoting aloud. However, it is perfectly fine to gently remind the opposite sex that all valuable life lessons can be learned watching Steel Magnolias. Everyone should know that; sheesh.


Blogger Jules said...

You know, I prefer the grammatically wrong, yet magically still understood by most in our society, phrase "It ain't gonna get you NOwhere." Really? So, we will get somewhere then? No one ever questions it though. Thanks for your commitment to doing things the right way TV.

01 September, 2005 09:59

Blogger Citizen Grim said...

Which makes one wonder... "Ain't" is a contraction, right...? but of what words?

01 September, 2005 15:26

Blogger Kris said...

Ain't is a contraction of am not I believe. I know the i makes no sense in that, but I do believe that's what it is. Although, I think it's also used as aren't.
So, I have to hid my Star Trek, Anime, AND my NFL stuff? Dang it, I'd better get to work.

01 September, 2005 16:38

Blogger Citizen Grim said...

There is nothing wrong with having NFL stuff.

Let's get that straight.

02 September, 2005 08:40

Blogger Lalah DeSha said...

So, are you saying that I shouldn't watch Gilmore Girls w/a potential sweetie this season? It is on ABC Family twice a day and new episodes begin in September on Tuesday nights @ 8...
Oh well, guess I'll just watch it with the girls!

04 September, 2005 14:35

Blogger Citizen Grim said...

Gilmore... hmm...

if you're looking for a quality WB show, I'd go with Smallville, for good cross-gender appeal.

05 September, 2005 00:02


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