Wardrobe Malfunction Tip of the Day

It's really important to test out swimwear (btw, I think that picture is of our landlady, Janet Hacker, affectionately referred to herein as "J-Hack") prior to your first summer pool party, hot tub shindig, or other dunkeroo in any water. I recommend a few simple tests to avoid wardrobe malfunctions in front of large groups of people involving bright sunlight and cold water. First, make sure the swimsuit is not ill-fitting. I've discovered that for guys, it means that it shouldn't hug certain areas, and should also fit snugly around others. For girls, I imagine it just needs to adequately cover "your privates" so you don't look like a naked whore on a boar™. Second, do a quick transparency test when wet. Lightly colored areas near "certain parts" may become completely transparent. This could be awkward for you and your friends. Finally, for guys, avoid wearing swimsuits with liners. If you do wear a swimsuit with a liner, either wear or bring a pair of underoos along. If you are climbing on rocks and get torn, you will not have a second layer of protection to prevent full exposure. Just be careful. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Comments

Pete said…
I just clicked on the first link and I'm already laughing
Pete said…
I also want to point out, that Jason in promoting some layer of protection. When he says "don't where a liner" that doesn't mean you should just hang free. By all means, if a liner is all you can do, please do it.
ager said…
Funniest tip ever! The suffix "roo" was used 2 times and Jay - this is so you!

The "wooden pornography" was quite disturbing!
CGrim said…
that hot tub picture is clearly not a hot tub at all - it's a cloning vat!!
Kris said…
May I say, in this case...other than the fact that I know the story that inspired the tip (which was really funny), the links really make this tip! I could have done without the crack! But "privates" was funny...poor Kyle.
Jay said…
And who knew what a search for "underoos" could unturn. That link was HILARIOUS. It reminded me of me as a kid. I was always doing stuff like that!

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