Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, August 15, 2005

Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part II)

2. Create an Endangered Habitat - If wanton environmental catastrophe isn't your style, then that first option is probably not for you. You also probably never had much fun playing SimCity. However, rather than destroying the environment (and earning the ire of hippies everywhere), you can actually use that same awesome power to your advantage! (No, I'm not talking about summoning a tornado, although if that is within your capabilities, go for it.) Instead, take your garden hose (or better yet, the neighbor's!) and leave it on all night. And the next day. And for the better part of a week. Gather a mob of tree-huggers, then contact the local news and tell them how the government wants to turn your wetland into a parking lot. (Note: it is crucial that you use the word "wetland." This is the politically correct code word for "must be saved at all costs," as opposed to "swamp," which is the exact same thing, but conjures a different image in people's minds. If you happen to have a "jungle" on your property, refer to it as a "rain forest.") This plan is foolproof. Unless your neighbor confronts you with his water bill.

How-To Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part I)

1 Comments:

Blogger Kris said...

Hmmm, endangered species, I have a lot of them in my room this morning! I wonder if that makes the school building in a category with the wetlands.

15 August, 2005 09:03

 

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