Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, August 29, 2005

Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part IV)

4. Make a Ground-Breaking Anthropological/Archeological Discovery - The easiest way to get listed on the National Register of Protected Historical Places is to find something historical on your property. This is easiest if your house is built over an indian burial ground, a civil war battlefield, or Atlantis, but is not necessary. If you are like most of us, you live on plain, boring old non-eventful turf, but it doesn't have to be that way! Whenever your kids bring home art from school, go out and plant it in the yard. Anything works - macaroni glued to construction paper, shoddy crayon drawings (caution-strong language), or a lopsided ceramic flowervase. Wait several weeks, then invite all your archaeologist/anthropologist friends over for a big "Dig Up My Yard!"-themed party. Make sure to serve plenty of alcohol, and then hand out shovels. When they start making discoveries, be sure to act surprised. The booze should do the rest. The only downside to this plan is that the government might confiscate your land anyway, and make it a National Park.

Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part I)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part II)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part III)

6 Comments:

Blogger Jay said...

OH man, am I so glad I checked out this link YESTERDAY. I got websensed this morning when I tried to view it. If you didn't check out this link, you need to. It's HILARIOUS. Just be careful...you might get a "category: tasteless" block if you're behind the ole' firewall.

29 August, 2005 09:45

 
Blogger Jay said...

In other news, Pete, I think our goal needs to be to get Tip of the Day site filtered out for tasteless as well. To the websense people, "tasteless" means "frickin' hilarious!

29 August, 2005 09:46

 
Blogger Citizen Grim said...

assuming you aren't completely turned off by gratuitous profanity directed at young children

in which case, it might very well be the most horrifying spectacle you've ever seen

29 August, 2005 16:59

 
Blogger Jules said...

CG - certainly you jest. I think I'm pretty sensitive to young children and their feelings. However, I just laughed so hard while reading what was at that link, I had trouble catching my breath and I had tears streaming down my face--and I've read it before. It's funny. The guys is obviously off his rocker, and no children are literally being yelled at. That would actually be sad. Maybe I misread your comment, though. :)

ps - and didn't you put the link in there? or was that another editor? i know i've had links added to my posts before, so it has been done.

30 August, 2005 17:53

 
Blogger Citizen Grim said...

yes, I did put the link in there


surely I did jest :)

31 August, 2005 11:16

 
Blogger Jules said...

you jester, you.

01 September, 2005 10:00

 

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