Sparkler Tip of the Day
With the 4th of July just around the corner, those of us at Pete and Jay's have been testing the hottest new prototypes for cool light and sound making gadgets. And folks, we have the best product ready to show you. Grab a free-after-rebate blank CD-R from Office Max, and you're about to have a light show that rivals Thunder O'er Louisville. Put the CD in your microwave, and nuke it for about 30-seconds. What you'll see will shock and amaze you. Now, we haven't verified the safety of this tip, so you may not want to try this at home. Try it at your apartment if you know you're leaving in a month, or something. What's best is that when you've completed this venture, you'll have a SWEET coaster to put in your living room too.
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Here is another sparkler tip for the fourth of July, garnered from what I like to call the "dumbest three hours of my life ever" or "other people's drunken co-workers are not even mildly entertaining": Don't let stupid drunks point sparklers at each other. If one drunk girl hits another drunk girl in the face with a lit sparkler, does anyone feel pity for either of them? Tough call. I confess, I tried really hard to care, but I didn't.
(No binge drinkers were harmed in the making of this tip. They cried and giggled for awhile, but ultimately both slept it off. Whether or not they were smarter when they woke up remains to be seen.)
Last year, my family went over to a friend's house for the fourth. They decided to have a fireworks show (they live in the country). Anyway, one of the firecrackers fell and it came towards the crowd. If my mom had been 6 inches over it would have hit her right in the chest.
So, remember the advice of the immortal Smokey the Bear, "only you can prevent wild fires."
As for my reaction to drunk girls with sparklers, I regret to say that I am incapable of phony sympathy. That "you're an idiot" look was all over my face. That look has gotten me into trouble more than once.