Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Waxing Tip of the Day

If you're having your eyebrows (or anything for that matter) waxed by a new person, we recommend the following. Slyly inspect your waxing technician for their own follicle grooming habits. If they have more hair on their face than that monkey from "BJ and the Bear," or if they look as if they stopped getting their hair cut when Al Gore officially lost Florida, run for your life. Your eyebrows can wait another day or two for your own trusted stylist's schedule to open up. A few more days is a lot quicker than spending the next few months growing them out to the point that you no longer appear to have "angry eyes" all the time.

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6 Comments:

Blogger alison said...

I agree wholeheartedly that one must be very cautious when getting their eyebrows groomed; numerous times I have left a salon with no eyebrows, or have returned home to "fix" or "finish" a sloppy job.

Another important observation to make about the stylist's eyebrows is that they should not have "drawn-in" eyebrows, because, of course, this would defeat the purpose of getting one's eyebrows waxed at all.

08 February, 2005 08:24

 
Blogger Jay said...

I have another way to inexpensively groom those pesky eyebrows. 1. Have a superbowl party. 2. Be in charge of grilling. 3. Let a lot of grease build up on the burgers, and then flip them quickly. The grease will hit the manifold, and hell-fire will erupt from the grill, rendering your eyebrows singed. No expensive salon solution--let the grill's hell-fire work for you!

08 February, 2005 11:54

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jay, this also works when lighting the grill and the button starter refuses to work. Simply turn the gas on for 15 seconds, toss a match in, and voila, instant eyebrow loss! This also works for hand and arm hair.

-Matt

08 February, 2005 13:31

 
Blogger Stephanie said...

While hit or miss (better to have angry-eye-eyebrows than none at all!), the singe method sounds like a method for the risk takers...but how is the smell?

08 February, 2005 14:13

 
Blogger Jay said...

I do agree with you Steph. An absence of eyebrows is scary. But what's even scarier is PENCILED ON eyebrows. What happens to those people if they get sweaty and/or wet? How frightening to see someone's eyebrows running down their face! Similarly, that seems like a daily grooming necessity at that point. If you're running late, do you simply not have eyebrows for the day? Do you ever put fake eyebrows on while in the car? What if you hit a bump? You'll have a cantankerous large unibrow occupying most of your forehead! What if you just plain get distracted and only put on ONE pencil-eyebrow? Or, you could play tricks on someone and raise one and not the other ALL day. People will freak out. Or, if they're a little too high, you could feign over-zealous excitement for the day. People may think your head is crooked if you have one higher than the other. But, people who DO have a crooked head could correct it at that point. Maybe pencil-brows aren't as bad as I once thought.

08 February, 2005 22:25

 
Blogger Jay said...

OK, here is a WONDERFUL illustration to show some of the problems at penciling in eyebrows:

08 February, 2005 22:30

 

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