Mixing Helpfulness and Humor Since 2005

Monday, September 05, 2005

Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part V)

5. Become an Indian - Another method to consider is to follow the lead of Ward Churchill and Bill Clinton, and become an official member of an Indian tribe. Everyone knows that only an arrogant white male imperialist oppressor would question what an Indian says, so this will solve a lot of your problems right off the bat. Heck, they won't even dare making a passing reference to you. Then, all you need to do is call up the media (if they aren't still around from #2) and tell them how you are being forced to leave your ancient homeland, where your ancestors have hunted the buffalo for generations. (Squirrels for those of us from New Jersey.) This plan is also nearly flawless, unless your name happens to translate as "Apaches-Are-Smelly-Squaws" or something, and they go on the warpath against you.

Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part I)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part II)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part III)
Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property (Part IV)

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