Dating Tip of the Day

By -
Guys: want to ask that girl out but don't want to get rejected? Here's a tip. Ask her what her plans are for the weekend before you ask her to do something with you. Then, if she says she has no plans, go for it. If she says she has plans, you know it's not an excuse, hense, you are not rejected. Then, you feel good about trying again the next weekend.

Girls: I know this makes it a little more difficult to come up with a good excuse. Might force us into a little honesty. :)

Comments

Pete said…
I'll be the first to say: I'm always up for a little honesty
26 May, 2005 08:41
vander said…
Uh, I'm sorry...I don't really have time to comment on this one. I'm washing my hair. In fact, I'll be washing my hair all weekend.
26 May, 2005 09:20
Stephanie said…
I always have some sort of weekend plans going (we ALL do, filling those precious 48+ hours with things like good fun, memory-making, relaxation, moving house, and errands!). But saying that I have stuff have going on doesn't necessarily mean I don't have free time to accept a date. We've established that honesty's the best policy on the "decline" side, so, men, what do girls say to the vague question of, "Do you have plans this weekend?" (and they're suddenly thinking "is this possibly reconnaissance for a date? gasp!"). They might want to accept (if it is in fact date reconnaissance), but don't want to be blatantly waving the "I'm so available!" flag? Isn't there some allure with the chase? Please clarify.

Do you say:
A-"Yes, but I'll make time for you. (one eyebrow raised.)" (A little bold.)

B-"Yes, I have a few things going on," in order to rev up the mystique and portray some level of freeness? ;-)

C-"No, I've actually got nothing going on," which is usually not true and also might make you look like Wendy Wallflower?

or

D-none of the above, fill-in vote.
26 May, 2005 09:32
vander said…
Now, now. Let's not crucify Wendy Wallflower. Wendy may not be busy at all - - and she may say "no" when you ask her out. Sometimes, solitude is a superior option to dating Wendell Wallflower. Or Fraternity Freddy. Or Not-actually-going-to-call-you Nick. (This is fun, but I'm off track.) Sometimes it isn't. It's a crapshoot, pretty much. So I choose:

D. "I have big plans to go ------. Want to go?"

This is a safe bet because, if he says no and looks at you like a leper, you can immediately turn to another friend and ask the same question. End result: you have an impromptu party or a date. Or it backfires and you stay home by yourself, but that was the default plan anyway, so everyone wins.
26 May, 2005 09:59
Stephanie said…
I like your answer, vander molen. :-)

I have erred on the side of solitude as well. Let's not forget Jeff the Jock. So I'm certainly not crucifying Wendy. :-)
26 May, 2005 10:11
JCo said…
Vander Molen - love the hair washing comment. Nicely played.
26 May, 2005 11:43
Pete said…
LOL Vander. Jen, you stole the words right out of my mouth. So I'll steal some words from Relient K instead: "She liked you wednesday but now it's friday and she has to wash
her hair"
26 May, 2005 12:00
vander said…
Appreciate your support, friends. In my defense, I do have a lot of hair. Meanwhile, let's continue the voting process.
26 May, 2005 13:12
Amanda said…
I am not a fan of the "doing anything this weekend?" phrase (sorry kris). It puts so much pressure on the answer. Like my mom will ask it and I don't know if she is about to ask me to do something fun or clean out the garage. I'd rather the guy just come out and ask, then I can be direct too instead of trying to figure out what he is trying to say. It's much cooler for me to be prepared to what I am answering.
26 May, 2005 14:41
JCo said…
How about the fact that some weekends you have plans and other weekends you don't, therefore you exercise honesty and give the guy the truth if he comes right out and asks if you have plans rather than have an answer already formulated for this question. It's a "yes, as a matter of fact I do have plans this weekend" or "no, there's not much lined up for this weekend" which may force you to exercies more honesty when he asks you to do something, "I'd love to" or "Thank you, but no."
26 May, 2005 14:44
Kris said…
Well, agar, it could just be a casual question...it's safe. Then, depending on where the conversation goes, or on her answer, it could be a good time to shy away, or to ask for that date.
And, yes, Jen, that's exactly the point...no more washing your hair, it's honesty. Frightening...isn't it!
26 May, 2005 16:36
Jules said…
I vote for answer B. But that's if you're hoping he'll ask. If you're praying he doesn't, you might want to play up those weekend plans a bit more.
26 May, 2005 16:37
Rachel C. Clay said…
Though B is the safest answer, I have to admit I am so the answer A type girl. At least if I am hoping it is a date question. See A you can totally blow off as innocent flirting "I'm just being silly" but you open that door for him to say, "Oh really, well actually I was wondering...." :) Everyone wins.

By the way, where were the guys comments on this? I mean they are the ones doing the asking here. How would they respond to A, B, or C?
Oh, and I think we totally need a tip about girls asking a guy out. Hmmm...I'll have to work on that.
31 May, 2005 22:47
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